Don't Let Go
by Payie
Summary: Everyone believes Raven has died...everyone but Raven herself...and its only in her death that she learns how Beast Boy feels about her. How can she return when no one can see or hear her? And if she does...will it be too late? RaBB with some RStar and
1. I'm Not Dead

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

A/N: This idea has been burrowing in my mind for the last few days, so I thought I'd give it a shot and see how you all liked lol

---

Raven was pleased

Very pleased.

This wasn't something Raven was too often. She felt happier on more occasions then she would ever admit to her fellow Titans, but most of the time, it was the kind of ironic 'Well, better then being dead,' type of happy. And this was different.

Looking down at her book, five candles levitated around her as she slowly copied the design she was looking at onto the floor. The wicks on the candles burst into life as she slammed her book shut.

It wasn't often she ran into a spell she wasn't familiar with. And it was even rarer to find one that might potentially be of use to her. But this time, she had discovered both. It was a simple spell really, but with it she could create another device similar to her mirror. And with it she could further her meditation, perhaps to a point of complete control.

She had everything she needed to complete it as well. Candles, the symbol, and the incantation. For once, everything was going perfectly. And with words such as that tucked in ones mind, it was a clear path for disaster.

Shaking away that brush of reality, she gathered up the power she needed for the spell.

"—last time, I do not know where your game is!" Cyborg's shouts outside her door threw her out of her concentration. Furrowing her brow, she tried to ignore him, sensing the candles flicker as she found her center, as she prepared to let it out—

"Duude, but you were the one playing it last!" Apparently the spot to stand and argue was at the foot of her room. Her face scrunched up even more as she refused to allow them to mess her up.

She opened her arms wide, her power flickering towards the candles, spinning around them as slowly wax dripped off, transforming into 5, perfectly white beads. They began to spin around her in a slow circle as she raised one hand upward, preparing to utter the incantation—

"Man, I was not! I saw you playing it last night. I can see right through your lies."

Gritting her teeth, she tried to block them out of her mind. "Azarath Metreon Zinthos—"

"Well, can you help me look then?"

"Milonton, Reverwa Leean…" She wasn't listening to them. She was in complete control.

"No way, I don't—"

"Ralenta—"

"—have—"

"Halent—"

"—TIME!" As the final word was uttered, Raven heard the loud crash of her door landing onto the floor, missing her own body by a few inches. She just looked at them, her eyes turning black at the two stunned Titans. Cyborg hands were in mid motion, misjudging the distance to Raven's door in his emphasizing wave to the now cowering Beast Boy. "Hi Rae…" He said warily.

"We were just…uh…" Beast Boy stuttered. Raven held her gaze, suddenly rising to tower over the two boys, tentacles of black magic flickering about her.. Cyborg plastered a huge smile on his face, picked up her door slowly, and put it back up, blocking them once again out of view.

Letting out a deep sigh, she looked at the marred symbol in the floor, and then at the beads that had fallen to the ground at the interruption. So close. At least she had the beads prepared for next time. She levitated them to her wrist, carefully connecting them together with a slender string.

The candles flew back to their respected positions and with one sweep of her hand, the chalk mark was swept away. Using her magic to go through the door, hardly trusting to try and open it normally at the moment, she walked down into the living room.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were still arguing over where the game was, although they both shifted out of her way as she stepped by, not wanting to risk upsetting her further.

Pouring a cup of tea, she sat on the counter, sipping the warm substance as she half watched Cyborg throw up his hands in defeat, finally giving into the nagging of Beast Boy to help look for whatever game it was that he lost. "Where's Robin and Starfire?" She asked.

"Oh, Robin's out practicing." The changeling said as he started opening and shutting cabinets in his desperate search. Raven waited expectantly, but he never continued.

"Half an answer. An improvement." She said wryly.

"What?" Beast Boy lifted his head up, slamming it into the corner of a still opened drawer above him. "Owww!" He rubbed his head gingerly. "Starfire—no clue."

"Starfire's gone shopping." Cyborg called from across the room, lifting up the couch.

"Wanna help look?" Beast Boy asked hopefully. She looked at him, her expression never changing.

"Help you find a video game?"

"Yup." He inched over to her. "You know you want tooo—"

"Found it!" Cyborg announced, holding a slender CD sleeve in one hand.

"Oh darn, I missed all the fun." Raven's sarcasm earned a snicker from Cyborg.

A familiar beeping rang through the tower. The lavender headed girl leapt to her feet while Beast Boy and Cyborg rushed to the computer. "Disturbance at the park—enemy unknown." He announced, part to the two Titans before him, and part through his communicator to the others.

"I shall be on my way!" Starfire's voice cut in.

"Titan's go!" Robin shouted, appearing at the doorway. They nodded and rushed after him.

The park was empty, the civilians already having fled the scene. Blackened trees marred the green ground, but other then that, there was no evidence of the actual perpetrator.

"Fan out!" Robin ordered. Raven flew high into the air, attempting to spot him from the above while the other three took in opposite directions on the ground. Looking wearily around, she spotted an odd creature to her right.

"Near the swing sets." She called, rushing towards the attacker. The creature was hardly over three foot tall, looking strikingly white against its odd black arms growing out from its back. Its was circular in shape, although its surface looked like it was continually shifting, and as she approached it, whatever it was hissed angrily, one of its black arms flying straight for her. She narrowly dodged the attack before crying "Azarath Metreon Zinthos!" The swing set before them was ripped out of the ground and flew at the creature, who knocked it aside with two arms.

By this time, three of the Titans had arrived, including Starfire, but excluding Beast Boy, and were circling the creature. It shuffled around nervously, suddenly squeezing flat, narrow beams of light flying in all directions. Raven blocked the attack with her shield, while Starfire let out a rain of missiles down at the creature. It just shook off the attack, looking unaffected.

Cyborg lowered his sonic cannon menacingly and shot it, with a similar reaction. "Looks like energy attacks has no effects!" Robin shouted to the group, running at it with his bo staff.

Cyborg's canon reformed into a hand and he pounded his two fists together before charging. "Guess we got to do this the old fashion way!" He tackled the creature knocking it towards Robin. "Batters up!"

Robin, swinging around his stick knocked the creature head on, it flying forward. One of its arms gripped the bat as it flew up, boomeranging back to hit Robin square in the chest.

Raven flew low, ripping a near by tree by its roots and slamming it down against the glowing ball. The creature looked stunned by the attack, and started to charge at her, when Beast Boy suddenly appearing in kangaroo form, kicking the creature off course.

"You're late." She told him. He morphed back, looking embarrassed.

"Eh, got lost." Light suddenly danced about them as the creature once again did its little trick. One narrowly hit Raven, brushing off the beads still hanging on her wrist. Turning around, her eyes grew black as she lifted the creature with her magic and slammed it back into the ground.

Beast Boy leapt into the air, turning into a hippopotamus and landed directly on top the small creature. Leaping back to his feet as he morphed into his usual self, the thing had disappeared.

"Behind you!" Robin pointed towards Raven, who spun around, the creature shoving her into a nearby tree. For a second, she felt as though she had been completely drenched in cold water. Her heart echoed loudly in her chest and she heard an eerie sound of something being torn apart. Then it was gone. Shrugging the symptoms to being almost knocked out by a glow in the dark ball, she rolled over to see how her comrades were doing.

The rest of the Titans continued the assault, doubling efforts after its little surprise attack. Raven levitated herself to her feet, dark magic flaring about her fists, but let it die down as she saw Robin and Cyborg finish the enemy off, freezing first then smashing second.

"That wasn't so bad." Robin said cheerfully to the others.

"We should reward ourselves with pizza!" Starfire cried, hugging the boy wonder happily, earning an embarrassed blush before he pulled her away. Beast Boy was looking around, a bit confused.

"Lose something?" Cyborg slapped him over the shoulder.

"Where's Raven?" He suddenly asked. The hooded girl sighed and stepped forward.

"Still here." She said. The boy's eyes widened as he rushed towards her. "Um, hey—" She started to say, reaching out to stop him.

It was the longest moment in her life. Touching where his shoulders should be. Trying to stop him from running into her…as he ran through her. Her hands grasped nothing.

"Raven!"

Startled, she turned around, taking a few steps back at what she saw. It was her…only it was lying on the ground…looking pale, even for her. "What…" She started to murmur, as the rest of the Titans surrounded her body.

"Come on Rae, wake up." Beast Boy was saying, his expression slowly turning from worry to panic. Robin's face was filling with confusion as well as he was checking her pulse, leaning down to listen for the sound of her…_body_…breathing.

"I'm right here." She floated to them. "That's not me." They didn't seem to hear her. This wasn't right.

Cyborg scooped _her_ up in his arms, and was running to where is T-car was parked. They were all rushing off, in obvious panic.

"No…but...I'm right here." Her mind tried to grasp the situation, but was overtaken by confusion instead. Shaking her head, she followed them.

They were huddled around her in the infirmary. Starfire's eyes were filling with choking tears as Robin kept running analysis after analysis on her, is face chewed up with worry. Cyborg was sitting on a chair near them, his head huddled down to his knees. And Beast Boy was right next to where she was, gripping one of her hands tightly.

"Don't die." He was repeating to her, over and over. "Raven, hold on. Don't die on us."

"I'm not dying." Raven said firmly, levitating to each Titan one by one, not liking the vacant expressions as they couldn't see her…couldn't hear her. "I'm right here…" What was going on? Was this some trick of the creature? All in her mind? Or what if…?.

Her eyes darkened and she slammed one fist down onto the table where her body laid. "This is—" Her hand flew through the table. Shaking, she stared down, looking at her fingers, her palm, as though it was some unruly creature.

Robin suddenly stopped the tests, and took a few steps backwards before leaning heavily against the wall. "She's…."

"Don't say it!" Beast Boy cried, standing up so quickly his chair was knocked over. His face was becoming damp as he watched Robin slowly shook his head. Starfire, who was now huddling in a corner, wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her crying face.

"How…could this happen?" Robin said softly.

Raven floated up to him, coming close to his face.

"What's wrong with my body? Am I hurt that badly?" She was worried. A part of her knew what happened…by she couldn't admit it. If she did then…

Cyborg stood up, looking tired. "Something more then that hit must have happened."

Robin shook his head. "I checked _everything_." Beast Boy, suddenly stormed out the room, unable to take this atmosphere anymore. Cyborg slammed his fist into a nearby wall, echoing exactly what Raven had felt like doing earlier.

"So…she is really…?"

"She's gone." Robin stared straight a head, as though struggling to keep the waver out of his voice. "She's dead."

No.

"Its like she just stopped working." Robin's bitter voice rang through the silent room.

No.

She wasn't dead.

How could she be dead when she was standing right there? "Robin! Look at me!" Her voice commanded, her eyes growing dark and menacing. She gripped his shoulders, her hands passing through them and into the wall behind. Slumping forward, she just stared up at his face. "Tell the other's I am not dead! Tell them I am right here!" He turned, and for a brief moment she thought that maybe he had heard her.

Instead he walked where Starfire was still huddled, kneeling down to carefully pull her in his arms.

The entire room was quiet.

The entire room believed she had died.

She couldn't stay here, in this room where she laid so cold and silent. She couldn't stand seeing her friends like this...she walked backwards, through the door and into the hall. Even there, she could hear the muffled sounds of people crying, the sounds of comforting words.

_I'm not dead._

Going back to her room, she was surprised to see she wasn't alone…Beast Boy was in there. Why he was in her room, she didn't know. He was sitting on her bed, his head in his hands.

"Beast Boy?" She hovered in front of him. "You have to be able to see me." One hand brushed through his head. He shivered slightly from her touch, more of a reaction then anyone else…but other then that he gave no signs of noticing her.

Straightening up, her eyes flared angrily. "Get out of my room!" She hissed, using enough fury to scare him to usual submission. He didn't move.

Deflated, she fell to her knees. They really couldn't see her…they couldn't hear her. _What happened to me?_ She gripped her head. A part of her wondered, if maybe she really had died…maybe this was her afterlife. Denied from heaven because of her father. Denied from hell because of her good intentions. But…it didn't _feel_ right. She felt perfectly fine…

"Whoever you are, I know what you are trying to do…show yourself!" She shouted into the night, hoping as much as she was able to that something would come…something she could fight. No one came to her empty words.

Glancing down at her hands again, she tried to tune out the whimpering sounds of Beast Boy, still sitting on her bed. Why couldn't she touch them? Why….Her eyes suddenly rested on her empty wrist. The beads…perhaps...

She flew back down to the infirmary looking at her body. The beads were still around her skin, but were marred by the creatures attack earlier. Studying them, she reached a hand forward….and went through it. "Damn." She said. The beads…the half unfinished spell…and then getting damaged…

They must have somehow severed her spiritual form with her body. And her body died from the separation. If she could tell them…."Cyborg?" The boy was still sitting on his chair, refusing to look direction at Raven's body. "Cyborg—the beads—I have a book in my room…" Nothing…

Filling with frustration she went back to her room, trying desperately to grab hold of the book. The beads were the key, and there was nothing she could do to tell anyone else that.

Beads to a spell no one knew about…a simple piece of jewelry that appeared to have lost all its magical power after the separation…of course they wouldn't think too much about it—about a _bracelet_.

An awful feeling hit her as this dawned to her. She…was stuck like this. Stuck in a form where no one could see or hear…

Never had she felt more alone.

---

The next few days were torture to Raven. She tried everything she could think to tell the team she was still with them, that this was all some horrible mistake. She tried to talk to them in their sleep….she tried even to _possess_ them, using her powers to attempt to delve deep in their consciousness. Even her mind simply passed through, as though she wasn't really there…which to them, she wasn't.

Everyone was so somber…Robin and Cyborg stayed in the infirmary, where her body still remained…determined to find out at least _why _it happened…they had already accepted she was gone. Starfire…just trudged through the day, her despair written on her expressive face…while beast boy spent the first day by her side, still gripping her hand, as though begging for her to come back alive…and the next avoiding her all together, fearful of the truth…Their truth.

And then the funeral.

Raven…never expected to attend her own funeral. A part of her wanted to stay at the Tower, refusing to accept her friends were about to bury her…about to put her deep in the ground…it was like she was really gone. "I'm still here." She murmured to each of them. "Please…don't do this."

---

Beast Boy clutched his fists together during the procession. He didn't want to be here. They shouldn't be burying her because she shouldn't be dead….how could this have happened?

Each of the Titans went up to Raven, saying their good byes in turn. Robin simply squeezed her lifeless hand, telling her how much she had meant to the team…how they would carry her memory with them always. Starfire tried to speak, and only after a reassuring touch by Robin was she able to tell Raven how much their friendship meant to her…Cyborg simply said goodbye, unable to say anything else…then it was his turn.

He peered into the casket…her body so pale…so fragile…but still so beautiful. "Ra—" He choked on his words, then swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue. "Raven…I know I got on your nerves…" Closing his eyes tightly, he suddenly couldn't look at her form like this…he couldn't say anything while she was like this. "I…I…really cared about you thou---" His voice broke off again, and he mentally cursed himself. "This…is my last chance I guess…but…" Opening his eyes, he mustered the rest of his strength. "I—I...thought you should know…I love you."

The words now said hung in the air. It felt like his heart was being squeezed as he stared at the unmoving Raven, at her lifeless form. She would never know…she was gone from them all. But...he had to say it just once….pushing himself away, he stumbled down into the nearest chair, both hands clutching his head as his breathing refused to slow down.

She was really gone…She...always so strong….and now…His eyes were clenched tightly shut as he tried to blot out the thoughts. He didn't want to believe this…

Raven was dead…and a piece of him had gone with her.

---

First chapter done...(reloaded to fix some typos..)

Please remember to review! I'd appreciate any comments, suggestions, criticisms…..


	2. Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Woo! All of those who reviewed are amazing :)

---

During the funeral session, Raven had stood at the other side of the casket, listening as each of her friends came to say their good byes. Despite herself, she couldn't help but feel more and more tormented by each comment, by each look of regret and sadness her friends gave to her motionless body. "I'll find a way to come back." She told each one, her hands clenched tightly to her sides.

Beast Boy was the last of the group.

He shifted uneasily on his feet, trying his best not to run from the figure before him. "Ra—Raven…I know I got on your nerves. I…I…really cared about you thou---" His words trailed off.

"Its alright." She told him. "You're a good frie—" Even if he couldn't hear her…saying the words comforted her somewhat. Seeing the happy boy so unsure…so despairing…it shook her up.

"This…is my last chance I guess…but…" His words cut her off, his face screwing up with determination. "I—I...thought you should know…I love you."

I love you.

For a second, time stood still. He was staring down at her dead body…she was staring over at him. Did he really just say that? She watched as he stumbled down into a chair, as he looked completely torn apart. Was it really possible? Even if she was dead to them…even though she was hearing things they probably wouldn't tell her if she had been there…a whisper of a blush appear on her face.

_My first 'I love you,' and I'm dead to hear it._ Her mind was only able to come up with one singular comprehendible thought. The rest was thrown in confusion. This was greatly unexpected.

"Hey…BB…" Cyborg sat beside him, breaking her thoughts. He tentatively placed something into Beast Boy's hands. "I thought you might want to keep it. _She_ was wearing it." Raven shifted positions, seeing the changeling clutching the very beads that had been the cause of this all.

He was stared at the piece for a moment, and then slipped it on his own wrist. "Thanks. I really did…"

Cyborg gave him an understanding smile, patting him on the shoulder. "I know. I'm sure she heard you."

If they only knew.

Shaking off what had just happened and deciding her funeral was hardly the place to think over such matters, her mind shifted to the team as a whole. Raven…did not like…how tired...how worn away they all looked. Such reactions…if she had really died…might have been touching, knowing how important she was to all of them. Seeing them this way, not being able to tell them she was okay…it frightened her.

She bent down at her tombstone, her finger trailing the words etched into the surface. "A Great Titan. A Greater Friend."

_There has to be a way to come back…_

She wasn't able to watch as her casket was slowly put into the ground…she didn't want to be there as the dirt filled in the hole. Flying high into the sky, she made her way back into the tower…back to her room. The silence clung to her, burrowing deep into her flesh. A few days ago she died. And now she wanted to perform a resurrection.

---

She looked at the book sitting at the corner of the table. Using all the strength she had, she willed her powers to move it. "Azarath…Metreon…ZINTHOS!" A dark circle appeared around the object…concentrating, the black void moved to the right….and the book stayed behind.

Raven didn't move. She didn't get frustrated. She simply took another breathe and tried again. Over and over…she had started this several hours ago…and no success. A part of her almost believed she saw the pages fluttered…but it was only the trick of the light. Finally, she got up. "This is pointless." She muttered to herself. "I can't touch _anything_."

Deciding she needed a break, the girl left the room. Hearing a creaking sound down the hall, she instinctively flipped her hood up, staying in the shadows. _Not that they could see me either way_. Through the corridor came both Robin and Starfire.

"I do not like this feeling." She was saying, both of her arms tightly grasping one of Robin's. Her voice was strained, and the red splotches suggested she had recently cried.

"I know…" Robin didn't appear much better. "It's our job…sometimes this happens." Raven didn't move as they passed straight through her. She swung around, a hollowed feeling developing in the pit of her stomach.

"But..." Starfire said, her words lost as they turned the corner.

In the living room, the mood was little better. Beast Boy had one hand up, flipping through channels in slow determination, his eyes staring vacantly forward and his face twisted in an I-refuse-to-cry expression. Cyborg was sitting up at the bar attempting to eat, but kept pushing food around his plate.

"I suppose I came at a bad time?" Raven said out loud, the sarcastic remark coming automatically. She winced as those words left her mouth…she _was_ the bad time. Floating over to Cyborg, she watched as he meticulously began cutting his food into smaller and smaller pieces. Beast Boy was little better.

"If only…" She looked at his wrist, where the beads still hung. Although they were the cause, she didn't know how to use them to reverse what had happened. And the first problem was that she couldn't even touch them to try. She reached out one hand, resting it over the beads, grimacing as once again they went through. Beast Boy, however, twitched his wrist, rubbing it with the other hand as though he was cold. Did he sense her? Even a little bit?

"Beast Boy?" She asked. "Beast Boy?" Her voice became higher. "Can you hear me? Please…" Nothing. Her eyebrows furrowed and she reached out, her arm going through his head. It wasn't much…but he did shiver. _Great…I can make him cold._ At least…it was some reminder that she was there.

Being so close to him…the words from earlier ran through her mind. He loved her. How it was possible, she didn't know. The two of them were on friendly terms...but she never expected…She had never given the two of them much thought…she hadn't given relationships in general much thought. It wasn't that she didn't care for him…feeling something twist inside her, she dropped her gaze, feeling embarrassed. Even if he couldn't see her, even if she was dead to him…she was feeling rather exposed at that moment.

Backing away, Raven decided this wasn't the time to think about things like that…she had more important worries. Like trying to prove to the Titans she wasn't dead. And so far, there didn't seem to be anyway in doing that. The only semblance of a reaction was…well…the changeling.

She was trying to remain calm. Raven was trapped in her spiritual form, and unable to do anything about it. She didn't need to eat or sleep. She didn't even need to meditate...In fact, if she wanted to, she could do pretty much almost anything and get away with it. Unless of course it involved touching something. Or anyone in particular.

"Well…I'm screwed." She sunk to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs. What could she do? There had to be something…anything…

---

It was hard to tell how much time was passing by. Raven became one obsessed, staying in her room majority of the day, trying desperately to knock the book of the shelf. It could have been weeks…or even months. She had to get out of this. She tried blasting it with her powers, to simply hovering her hand over it, willing herself to just brush the cover.

She left little room to think of anything else…if she thought too long she would think of the seriousness of her situation…or over the words Beast Boy had left her.

She shouldn't be mulling over such things at a time like this. In fact, his feelings ought to be the _least_ of her worries. Yet still it remained, a nagging notion she wanted to think over.

_I'm being ridiculous._ _I might be trapped like this and my first thoughts are over some hidden love.. _She mentally chagrinned herself. If she left her room, she didn't like the sights she saw. Beast Boy rarely smiled anymore, looking constantly lost in thought—both qualities highly unusual for him. Cyborg tried to cheer the guy up, but he seemed still shaken by the lost of one of their fellow Titans. Starfire clung to Robin, spending the majority of her time at the tower since on most days she didn't have enough happiness in her for her powers to work.

_This is my fault_. She lay down on the floor of her room. Even though she could hardly have suspected this to have happened…the guilt lingered. Her friends were mourning over her...and she still remained very much alone.

She didn't like to think of her situation in that sense, but when you were never tired, never hungry, and had no one else to talk to…she had a lot of time to think. Not only did her friends think she was dead, but she was trapped, isolated from the world around her. She could scream, cry, blast everything around with her powers…and no one would notice. So she didn't dwell on that notion too long, instead trying to focus only on the problem a head of her—how she was going to get out.

Her loneliness was becoming more and more apparent. She had always been a withdrawn person…but this was a whole other extreme.

Sighing, she was about to start her efforts in moving the book once again…when the door to her room creaked open. Blinking at the sudden change of light, she was surprised by the interruption. No one had entered her room for some time now—except Cyborg on occasion who would clean the dust collecting on the shelves and the floors. She recalled each incident very clearly, remembering her desperate attempts to get him to open the book, to get him to flip through the pages. It was a useless endeavor …but she had to cling to whatever hope she had.

The changeling was the one at the door. He looked around uneasily, as though he knew he shouldn't be here…but despite that, he strolled in and stood in the middle, once again lost in whatever thoughts he may be having. This could be her chance. Floating to the changeling, she flew directly through him, watching as he tensed up a bit, running his hands over his shoulders.

"Beast Boy! Its Raven!" She yelled, flying through him once again. "Please…you believe zombies run the supermarket—believing that I'm still here shouldn't be that difficult!" Raven felt her desperation rise as he shook off the uneasy feeling, walking over to the windows and looking out.

"Raven…"

"And the likely hood you are actually referring to me is…." She muttered, flying to his side. "Beast Boy!" He suddenly shook his head.

"You really are gone, aren't you?" He said quietly, the cracking in his voice causing Raven's heart to flip flop. It was the same tone he had used when he confessed to her dead body…

"No…I'm alive…" She said evenly, her mind going back to the words he said before. Each time…it was like she was seeing him in a new light. One hand reached up, passing through his shoulder.

"Gah, I'm such an idiot." He suddenly stormed out of the room, going right through her in his passage to the door. Her gaze followed him, distracted by her own twisting emotions to have the energy in following him.

As much as she didn't want to think his confession over…the very fact the thought was still on her mind was proving something.

Sitting down, she took a deep intake of air. She wasn't one to admit she might have feelings for anyone—not even to herself. _So, he loves me? I never asked for that kind of attention._ Her darker side immediately scorned, thinking of all the times that the two grated nerves…but…there was that nagging feeling that made her think again. They…were complete opposites, true…but…was that a bad thing?

What did she think of him?

The tightening in her chest. The fact she had always been the happiest around him…well as happy as she could get...it was like walking out of a dream as the realization hit her. "I…care about him." She murmured to herself, the words not sounding quite right. Was it more then that? It was hard to tell…whatever the feeling was inside her, it was something that had been growing, so slowly that she had never even realized it was there…something she had never really paid attention to…that is until he said those three words.

Did she…could she even…love?

---

Beast Boy walked out of Raven's room, glaring around at nothing in particular. What did he think he'd accomplish by going in there? She was gone now…but…it had happened so suddenly he still didn't want to accept it. He was regretting things he never had the chance to do…all the moments that they would now never have. He'd be content just hearing her make fun over something he did. Anything…But…the thing he regretted most…was never telling her how he felt.

"Not that it would have made a difference." His face fell. They shared a teasing and be teased type of bond…and there had been only brief moments that suggested she might care for him more then beyond simple friendship…Shaking his head again, he forced himself not to dwell on the past. Nothing could be done now…

He just couldn't help how much he missed her.

---

After some time, Raven abandoned her idea of moving the book. Unless someone accidentally knocked it over and just happened to come to the right page…it was a hopeless task. Giving up it though…was a hard blow to her moral. If she couldn't move the book, that increased her chances that she would stay this way…permanently.

There was always the constant itching in the back of her mind, the wanting of someone to notice her. She never craved attention, but now that she was without it entirely…she missed everyone. She missed everyone so much. Seeing them trying to confront each day, watching them as they slowly forced themselves to go back into the schedule with out her in their lives…it really hurt.

It wasn't like they had forgotten her…but they were moving on. Slowly, they were returning to their normal lives. She…should be glad for them.

Starfire and Robin's relationship was budding at a faster rate, the two being drawn together by her death. Just last week she caught them stealing a kiss in the hallway, before hurrying about their business. It was a shy relationship…but it was there.

Cyborg continued to keep her room free of dust, but less for preserving her memory and more out of respect for what she had done for them during her time as a Titan. He and Beast Boy were back to playing games and arguing over breakfast…the tension of the household slowly breaking down.

Beast Boy…was holding on the longest. She saw him smile his first genuine smile…saw him make a halfhearted attempt at a joke. He still looked hurt…but the pain was subsiding.

Seeing them moving on…seeing them slowly go about their lives…it was hard for Raven. She knew she should be happy…but only being able to watch…knowing they were getting use to her not being there…it really hurt.

_I don't want to be forgotten_. She followed them around more, finding the only way to alleviate her loneliness was to be in their presence. They could never hear her, but that didn't mean she couldn't talk to them. They could never see her, but that didn't mean she couldn't react to their comments…it was the only thing keeping her from breaking down.

That…and her growing attachment to Beast Boy. She…was falling for him. When he finally smiled, she had felt relief that he was becoming more like himself.

And…even if he didn't know it was her…he still reacted when she touched him…This was the only proof that she still might be able to join their lives again. The only reminder that she truly existed. For awhile she tried to use this to her advantage, keeping one hand through his shoulder in hopes he'd think something fishy was going on…but although he shivered at first, it was not strong enough for his conscious mind to pick up, to even consider making a connection.

Raven had thought over the reasons why he reacted to her touch…she wasn't one to linger too long on the thought that it might be caused by his feelings for her. After much deliberation, she came to a logical reason. He transformed into animals…and animals were more sensitive with the supernatural…it made sense.

She was lingering in the living room, half watching Cyborg, who was busy making some minor adjustments on his canon when Beast Boy entered. He looked more shaken up in a long time, but still cracked a half smile before opening the fridge to get some food. The other titan stopped what he was doing, studying the boy for a moment.

"Hey BB—wanna play some Monkey Mayhem?" He called out cheerfully.

"Nah." The changeling replied, his voice slightly muffled by the food he was currently stuffing in it.

"Chew much?" Raven commented lightly, hovering behind him.

"You're just afraid I'm going to stomp all over you again…" Cyborg taunted. The boy twisted around, his expression turning cocky.

"There is no way you can beat me."

"Then prove it."

"…"

"Chicken?"

"Only sometimes!" The boy declared. "I can so take you any day of the week…just not this week." Beast Boy continued, his expression turning serious.

Cyborg let out a sigh. "I know…but you shouldn't still beat yourself over it—she wouldn't want you to." Beast Boy didn't say anything for a moment. "Come on—play some video games and crack a few of your stupid jokes—you'll feel much better."

"Tomorrow is…Raven's—it's hard to feel better." He simply said. Raven winced at the comment. Had it really already been one year? It...didn't seem possible. Walking out of the room, he paused, a glimmer of a smile back on his face. "And my jokes aren't stupid." Then he disappeared.

A year…it had passed without her realizing it. And…there was little hope she would be able to come back. Would she have to continue like this? Watching the others grow and change…while she remained timeless? Refusing to let herself continue those thoughts, she haunted the halls of the tower until discovering where Beast Boy had gone. It was actually to the roof, where the sun was just beginning to die.

"A year, eh?" The boy was murmuring to himself. "I...I still love her." Raven never more hated herself at that moment. She was causing him all this pain, over his infatuation…over her apparent death.

And…ironically he...was causing her similar pain. The growing feelings for him, after a simple confession a year ago…

Which was worse? Never knowing how the other person felt, and believing they'd never see them again? Or…possibly returning the feelings…and forced to watch the person day after day without him ever knowing…

_It's impossible now…but…_

She just sat next to Beast Boy, feeling comforted by his presence, and trying hard not to think of the future.

---

How time was still able to move…Beast Boy didn't know. He still remembered her so clearly…her calm voice, the occasionally smile she'd give. Had he really gone a whole year without it?

Sitting up on the roof, he watched as the sky gave way to the night, the stars shimmering above him. Even though she was gone, the feelings remained. Everyone was moving on…he knew he was too…but no matter how much the raw pain of losing her subsided, those feelings could never fully disappear.

He had never felt that way about any other person…including Terra. Terra…even before her betrayal…it was more of an infatuation then actual love. He couldn't deny he cared about her, but it was a simple crush on a girl who showed attention to him…and then there was Raven. She didn't shower him with affection, but each time he won that smile…each time that their glances connected…it was something more. He felt his face slip into a goofy grin as he thought back…that is until he was once again slapped with the fact he'd never see her again.

Beast Boy wondered if it was true, that if you are really in love, the feelings for that person would never diminish. A part of him wished he could take the aching pain away…but the rest hoped it stayed with him forever.

---

Again, she was in the cemetery, standing before her grave. An entire year. Nothing to show from it, other then a growing bitterness at her new found existence. And now that she knew how she felt, it made living this way all the more harder.

"I'm sick of this."

Rage building inside of her, she left the site, leaving her friends to say what they want. She couldn't handle this right now. The proof of her death was right there and she wanted nothing more to do with it.

Back to the Tower—back into her room. She looked around, at the comforting reminders of what all had been hers when she was still there. And then…she snapped. She couldn't touch anything, but that didn't stop her from enveloping everything in black. If they could have been affected, her entire room would have been torn apart. Despite it accomplishing nothing, she kept at it, hurling wave after wave of dark energy before finally falling down to the floor.

She was biting her bottom lip, her hands forming fists on the ground. In all the time she had been like this…in all the time no one knew she was there, she had forced herself to be strong.

Now unwanted tears filled her eyes as frustration over took her. She hated crying—it was a sign of weakness, a sign of uncontrolled emotions. But now she sat in the darkened room, her body wracked with sobs she had been holding an entire year. There was no one coming to comfort her. There was no one coming for her at all. No matter how she felt, no matter to whom she felt for…

She was alone.

---

As usual, if you'd like me to continue, please review!


	3. Hope

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans…

A/N: Haha, I think the hardest part in writing this is trying to find the fine line of rushing the story to drawing it out to far…the last chapter was a bit slower, buut this one might be a little too fast…the plot must go on though :)

---

Forever was a long time. If she didn't age…if she didn't need to eat or sleep…would she always be like this? Would she see her friends grow up and die? Would she see Beast Boy…

These thoughts haunted her. Her friends were in another world now…and she was loosing hope. Time would continue to go by, but she would not. The knowledge made her sick.

Rising off the floor, her head throbbing from all the tears she had spilt, she tried to shake off the thought. She was stronger then this…she could manage. She _had_ to manage, whether she wanted to or not.

Each day…it was getting harder for her to not break down…to resist the urge to cry…to scream…to do all the things she knew were meaningless…Knowing nothing she did had any affect…no matter how hard she tried…

Her emotions were struggling to overwhelm her and it took everything she had to beat them down.

She had to try to continue living life as she had been doing for that first long year. But…she was giving up…The only thing that kept her going was seeing her friends faces. Seeing _his_ face. Her mind was reaching its breaking point…she was becoming obsessive in her isolation. But she had to hold on to anything…anything at all.

Raven watched him, her dark eyes following his every move. Her heart leapt at his smiles, fell when he was feeling down. It wasn't that her attitude itself had changed…if he did something stupid, she still commented on it, even though he couldn't hear her. But…her feelings for him were growing. And selfishly…she was glad he wasn't over her. So long as he still cared for her…she felt that there was still a chance something could be done.

Her mind would wander into all the stories she had read, from the countless tales of bitter romances. She was never caught up in their romantic notions before, always more intrigued by their thought process and logic then the actual plot…but now she kept replaying the happy endings in her mind…hoping it would happen to her.

Was she loosing her sanity in forced isolation? Was her mind slipping? On some days…she was sure it was. Other days, she felt perfectly normal. Constantly being ignored…constantly wanting to reach out to touch someone...anyone…for someone to tell her they could see her, that they could hear her.

She didn't go out with the Titans anymore when the beeping sounded. It hurt too much watching them fight against enemies, knowing she couldn't do anything to help them. Instinctively she would try to protect her friends with her black shield…but the attacks went through them so easily, that it was more of an emotional drain then actual comfort.

It was like she was falling very slowly…knowing the ground was coming closer and closer…but hoping beyond hope that somehow she would be saved. And it was one day that she was at her lowest...that _it_ happened.

All the Titans were gone, off to fight another diabolical being. She was pacing around in the living room, the empty walls mocking her existence. If they were gone, she felt lonely. If they were here, she felt lonely…but if they were here, at least she could listen to their voices…see them…talk to them...

It was the sound of Robin's motorcycle that threw her out of the thoughts. It was the sound of his motorcycle _in_ the building that caused her forehead to crease in worry. She rushed towards the noise, hearing it stop and a door somewhere slam open. Pausing, she looked at the over turned bike. The infirmary.

She rushed inside, seeing Robin hovering around…Starfire. The girl was shaking in pain, and she was covered in…blood. The girl was set on the hard operating table...the same table she once laid…so long ago.

"Is she going to be alright?" Raven murmured out loud. The Robin was acting calmly enough…but the motorcycle, the twitching of his hands as he tried to fix the wounds…suggested otherwise.

"Ro—Robin?" Starfire reached out one hand towards him. Robin caught it, squeezing it gently.

"Shh…you're going to be fine." He said, but his voice was uneasy…like he wasn't sure. Starfire just smiled, before shutting her eyes in pain…

"Robin!" The door swung open, and in ran Cyborg and Beast Boy. "How is she?" Robin didn't say anything, working on trying to stop from bleeding. "Should we take her to a hospital?"

"She's a Tamaranian." Robin said softly. "We know more about her physical structure then they do." His words…so eerily quiet.

Cyborg joined in on the efforts…but Beast Boy stayed back, staring at the table, his face slowly twisting in terror.

Starfire began to shake, her limbs twitching uncontrollably. Her eyes flew open, but she wasn't staring at anybody in particular, her mouth forming a voiceless scream.

"Starfire!" Robin shouted, trying to hold the flaying girl down, before she hurt herself.

"Stay with us girl!" Cyborg cried. Beast Boy, still watching in horrible fascination, sunk down to the ground, his face in his hands.

"Raven…Don't die…Raven…" He started to murmur. Raven was terrified…Beast Boy was reliving her death…Starfire…could be dying…

She flew to the Tamarania. "Don't die." She told the girl, her voice hardly above a whisper. "They can't handle another lost…He can't handle someone else…" The girl suddenly became limp…her eyes looking blankly at the ceiling.

"NO!" Robin cried, gripping her hand. "Come back to us Star!"

"Don't die—they need you!" Raven's voice rose as well. Starfire…the girl was finally back to her happy self…she couldn't die...she couldn't. "Starfire!" As quickly as it happened…the girl began to breathe again.

Robin slumped to the floor, his head resting against the side of the table. "Thank you." He said forcibly. Cyborg took over taking care of her…Beast Boy still crouching on the floor, his eyes wide from whatever it was that he was seeing.

"Don't do this." Raven told him reaching out to have her hand pass into his head in a make shift pat. "She's alright." Her touch appeared to draw him out of whatever spell he was under…he shivered, his eyes closing, and when he opened them back up, they were no longer wrought with whatever it was he was seeing.

He stood shakily to his feet, his fears still having him uneasy, but seeing Starfire...in bad shape but no longer at death's door…seemed to help him.

Raven let out a huge sigh she had been holding. "Don't do that to me."

---

Beast Boy…seeing Starfire there…seeing her laying on that table, facing death itself…it snapped something in him. Suddenly, he was right back at that room, right back to seeing Raven laying so pale…motionless on the table…Her own eyes looking right through him in an unseeing gaze. "Raven…Don't die…Raven.." He found himself saying to the body, reliving the moment all over again.

Not again…

Not another death…

Raven shouldn't have died…and again…it was happening again. _Please…_ Seeing her on the table…seeing her in the coffin…the dirt slowly covering the wooden surface…never to see her again.

Suddenly…he was out of it. Shivering, he looked up…relief washing over him as he saw Starfire laying there…she was _breathing_. She wasn't dying. She wasn't Raven.

---

Starfire, once out of danger and bandaged up, woke up soon after. She healed at a much faster rate then humans did, and the entire team was still there when she slowly opened her eyes. "I am not dead!" She announced, her words sounding weak, but joyful.

"Duude, don't do that to us again." Beast Boy cried, bounding to one of her sides. Robin stood on the other, smiling down at her.

"You gave us quite the scare." Cyborg chided.

"Quite doesn't do it justice." Raven muttered.

Starfire blushed, then her eyes grew distant. "I…I heard Raven." She looked down at her hands…Raven's own eyes widening with surprise and shock. The others had similar reactions.

"Are you sure? You may have been hallucinating." Robin said, taking her hand. She shook her head frantically.

"I was…what do you call it…heading towards the light?...And Raven told me not to die…that you needed me." Her eyes grew sad, but then she smiled. "Is it not possible she might be our winged protector?"

Raven blinked as Starfire stated the words she had told the girl earlier. She had heard her.

"Guardian Angel?" Cyborg said, his voice quiet. Beast Boy's eyes were wide as he stared at Starfire. Robin didn't look sure as to what to believe.

"Maybe…"

Starfire had heard Raven.

Beast Boy gripped Starfire's arm. "Did she say anything else?" The girl shook her head.

"That was all that I heard."

"Are you sure…" Robin started, his voice trailing off at the look Starfire gave him.

"I do not lie, Robin." She insisted. After that, everyone was quiet, each lost in their own thoughts. Slowly, Cyborg and Beast Boy trickled out of the room, Robin saying he'd watch over her in case she got worse during the night.

Raven's own thoughts were swirling about her mind. Starfire had heard her. After so long…after so much time…someone had heard her. If she had known…she could have yelled to look at the books in her room, or to study the bracelet on Beast Boy's wrist…a part of her was torn apart at the wasted chance…but a much greater part was filled with something she hadn't felt in a long time. She had been _noticed_. It wasn't everyday one of her teammates had a life threatening encounter…but…it gave her hope…the hope that she had been in search of. If…it happened again…she could be free.

It was twisted to hope for one of her friend to be put in danger, just so she could be saved…but…a part of her was selfishly wishing for it to happen. She was tired of just simply haunting the tower…she wanted to rejoin them…go back to them…and now…there was a way.

She had never been happier.

---

Robin sat by Starfire, his hand still clutching her own. "I'm sorry to have cause you worry…" Starfire squeezed his hand sadly. Her near death had scared him…but also made him realize how important she had become to him…how much he…

"I'm just glad you were alright…I didn't want...to lose you." A faint blush spread on his cheeks, something he tried to cover up. "I mean, the team needs you."

"Yes…" Both stared at one another, an awkward silence forming. Both seemed to have something they wanted to say, but neither wanted to be the first to say it.

"Star—" He began, the same instant she said "Robin—" They looked away from one another.

"What is it, Robin?" Starfire asked lightly.

"Well…we've known each other a long time." He started, but then stopped, unsure how to keep it going. He was the leader of the Titans, great at making tactical decisions, planning out how to defeat the bad guys…but when it came to stuff like this…he always faltered. "And we've shared many moments together." Starfire nodded, her face becoming brighter and brighter by these words.

"Yes?"

"Well…I think I'm…" He hesitated.

"Yes?" Starfire repeated, her sheets twisting in her frantic hands.

"I think I'm in love with you." He covered his ears as Starfire let out a delighted shriek and gave him a spine cracking hug. Which promptly turned into a yelp as she pulled at her not quite healed yet wound. "Be careful." He chided her.

"I love you too." She smiled widely at him. "I am most delighted."

He smiled, and bent down, kissing her gently on the lips. "Me too."

---

Time was flying now. Raven had a new hope, a new way to get out. When the beeping sounded, she followed them…in the twisted desire that she could whisper the words of her true existence to one of her team mates.

Even if she was lonely, she now had a _chance_ of joining them all…of becoming part of the team…of being with Beast Boy.

She didn't realize how fast time was going by until after another year and a half had passed, marking almost three years since she had left the Titans. Her feelings...her hope…it had carried her through them so quickly.

Until she was reminded once again how time really was moving forward.

It started with the telephone call. Robin had answered it, his face turning serious at the news. "I see." He said after a moment. "Tell him…I'll think on it." And then he hung up. Raven watched as he chewed his lip in thought. Starfire, who was in the room, came up to him, gripping one hand in worry.

"Robin? What is the matter?"

He just looked her square in the eyes, then pulled out his communicator. "Everyone in the meeting hall."

Everyone gathered together, looking at the leader expectantly. Raven stood near him, wondering what could be going on as well.

"We don't get too many enemies here any more, do we?" He suddenly asked. Raven had noticed that as well. The alarm in the tower had been going off less and less…something she had been horribly aware of.

"We have done a good job in keeping the city protected." Starfire nodded in agreement.

"It's my incredible skills and good looks." Beast Boy agreed, earning an dubious laugh from Cyborg.

"They really don't need all of us anymore, do they?" He said, half to himself. Starfire's face twisted in worry.

"We mustn't split up!" She insisted. Robin sighed.

"Its not that easy…Gotham needs someone to protect it."

"Does it not have the winged night creature?"

"Batman—he's hurt." Robin said with a sigh. "Its not critical…but he needs me to look over the city for awhile." Raven felt herself grow cold. She should have realized this could happen. They were getting older…they could…

"But—" Star fire's eyes opened wide, her hands clasping together. "You already have a city to protect."

"A city that doesn't need all of us…" He paused. During this time, Beast Boy and Cyborg had been quiet, letting the two of them talk. Now, Cyborg intervened.

"Hey man, if you need to go, you should go." Starfire looked at him in shock. The changeling nodded as well.

"I mean, we don't want you to go or anything, but we so got it covered here."

The Tamaranian looked between the two of them, her temper rising. Cyborg waved one hand, trying to calm her down.

"And of course you'll be going with him."

"Are you sure?" Robin asked them seriously. Seeing the two nodded, he turned to face Starfire. "Would you…come with me?" She blinked.

"Of course!" She said, looking surprised that it wasn't assumed she would follow him. He nodded.

The Titans...were going to split up.

She didn't want them to split up…but they were moving on with their lives…and of course they couldn't all stay here forever…but if they left, then…

---

And so it happened. Beast Boy and Cyborg stayed at Jump City…and after a tearful goodbye from Starfire…She and Robin—now Nightwing after he decided to drop the name for one that didn't tell those of Gotham he use to be Batman's sidekick—left. Raven watched them say good bye…watched them fade in the distance. Even if she came back now...things would never be the same.

Was it worth trying to come back? They didn't need her anymore…they were all moving on…wouldn't she just throw them back into chaos? Or…

When they left, she did something unusual for her. Normally at night, she still went to her room. It was a natural thing to do. But…the feeling of them breaking apart…the feeling of her no longer being wanted…it made her suddenly want to cling to the one person that cared for her…at least when she was alive.

She went into Beast Boy's room.

He was already asleep, sprawled out on the top bunk of his bed. "I don't want to lose you to." She said simply, as though explaining what she was doing in here. Her heart pounded in her chest…she wished he could see her…that he could try to make her feel better with one of his lame jokes…

Floating horizontal next to him, she watched him breathe in and out, in slow, steady rhythm. Suddenly, he started to murmur something, and she leaned closer, trying to make out the words.

"Raven…" The ready blush formed on her cheeks as she backed away slightly. "…Tofu…" She sighed, shaking her head. Tofu would be his next thought. Still, she reached out, one of her hands going through his own.

"I'm still here."

---

Robin was busy doing something he'd never have the chance to do if Batman was actually there. He was busily hacking into his computer system. His old mentor was just as suspicious as he was towards other people, and didn't like to share his secrets. The boy wonder was mainly doing this to research some old cases, cross analyzing whatever he found with information he already had. However, one particular article caught his interest.

He read it carefully, studying to make sure he really was seeing what he saw. It was an old alchemist recipe….it was…quickly he contacted the Titan Tower.

"Hey, missing us already?" Cyborg grinned broadly over the connection. Robin simply shrugged that comment aside, his expression completely serious.

"Is Beast Boy there?"

"Nope."

"Good—I need to talk to you." Robin bit his lip. "I think…I think I found a way of waking up Terra."

---

Alright—2 chapters out in one day…I think I deserve double reviews for that :)


	4. Terra

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

AN: Everyone who are Terra haters…are not going to like me for the next few chapters…I do absolutely promise this will end with Beast Boy and Raven together! Just….not yet.

---

Cyborg looked at him skeptically. It had been a long time since Terra had been turned into stone. While his leader wasn't the sort to play tricks like this, it was hard to believe he had found a way to bring her back. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sending you the data right now." Robin said grimly. The other Titan's eyes flickered back and forth as he read what his former leader had found, his eyes growing bigger and bigger.

"Man, this really could work." He said. "But…after everything she's done, do you think this is such a hot idea?" Beast Boy came into mind.

"She betrayed us, but in the end, she did save the city." Robin said simply. "With Slade out of the way—I think it wouldn't be fair to not bring her back." It was true. Still, with everything that had happened…

"Let me break it to Beast Boy." Cyborg grimaced at the thought. He wasn't so sure how his little green friend was going to act.

"I'll inform Starfire—She might come down for when you do it." Robin added.

"Alright—I'll keep you posted." Cyborg ended the transmition and sat heavily in his chair, musing over this new found information. Beast Boy had been hurt by Terra, but that also was a long time ago. Terra did indeed do the noble thing at the end…but did that one action really counteract all the things she did before? Could she be trusted if they did revert her?

He looked at the time. 9:30 pm. He'd tell the guy tomorrow, and see what happened. It was going to be very…interesting.

---

Cyborg was being unusually quiet this morning. With just him and Beast Boy left, normally there was arguing galore, especially at meal times, when both would continue slap some sort of insult at the others creation. Today, he hardly made any snide remarks towards the tofu perched on the changeling's plate.

"Don't tell me his converting you?" Raven flew over to him, noting that he seemed rather lost in thought. Had she miss something? Normally, she was pretty good at keeping tabs on the two. Apparently something had happened…and it kind of put her on edge. It wasn't so much that she liked to eavesdrop and to pry…but considering she could never ask what was going on, it felt like a right she had.

"So, Beast Boy." Cyborg began, after he had finished wolfing down his bacon and eggs. _Real_ bacon and eggs.

"What's up Cy?" The other guy looked towards him, one eye raised. Apparently he had noticed something off as well.

"…" He suddenly looked unsure how to continue. "Robin called the other night. Found something pretty interesting." Before Beast Boy could open his mouth, looking very prepared to utter some sort of remark, Cyborg continued. "B, he's found a way to bring back Terra."

Raven stared. Terra. Did he really just say that? How was it possible…they couldn't…

"W-what?" Beast Boy mumbled, his face looking a little pale. "Dude, your not twisting my arm, are you?" The larger man shook his head.

"Totally serious."

"Well…that's great." The words were forced and emotionless. In fact, everything about his body suggested just the opposite of great. Raven was still stuck on what Cyborg said. Bring back Terra? Bring back the traitor who almost killed them all? The girl who only at the very end realize that _hey, I think I do want to do good?_

The girl…who once was loved by Beast Boy?

No…They couldn't do this. They couldn't. Not when…not when she felt this…no…Not when she finally had a way out…What if he…and she….?

"Beast Boy?" Cyborg's voice was surprisingly gentle. "Look, man, I know what she did to us—what she did to you…you sure…?"

"She did save us in the end." Came the bitter reply. "Even if she betrayed us..." Then he walked out, not wanting to talk about this anymore. The other guy sighed, shaking his head.

"No…" Raven simply murmured. Out of everything that had happened to her…how could this be added to it? How could…it could be years until another situation like Starfire's…and during that time…with Terra….Her heart was feeling threatened…she was threatened…to finally find someone to…to….then to have it possibly taken away…

---

Beast Boy glared at everything in his room, kicking at his bed angrily. He didn't want Terra to come back. It wasn't fair for him to have those thoughts…but she had really hurt them. She had _betrayed_ them…

She had broke his heart.

But…there was good in her. She turned on Slade, and then sacrificed herself to save the city. That didn't change what she did before that though…could he forgive the person that changed sides so easily? Running to whomever offered her the most protection, the most attention?

"Gah, this sucks." He told his reflection. "How can she come back, and Raven… and Raven…" turning, he flopped onto his bed. None of this was fair. What would be fair would be Cyborg telling him they had found a way of bring _Raven_ back…not _Terra._

_---_

Raven brooded over the words, tearing them apart over and over again. Waking up Terra. That didn't mean Beast Boy would fall for her again…That didn't even mean she'd join up with the Titans…

Still…the week passed by quicker then it should have, and soon, Cyborg and Beast Boy were at the statue of Terra. Starfire was going to come as well, but there was a crisis in Gotham…meaning it was just the three of them…well two of them. It had been a debate whether or not to wait, considering that it was _Terra_. What if she chose to attack them? Still…it was decided that it would be best to get it done with as soon as possible. The girl that turned to stone had saved the city, and it was decided it would be unlikely for her to suddenly betray them again…at least right away.

Raven couldn't help but hope the moment Terra was awake, that that would be it, that they'd go there separate ways…but she knew her teammates.

Cyborg had been busy all week, preparing the ingredients needed. Beast Boy offered little help, just watched on with a scowl, as though he really wasn't looking forward to this either….Raven couldn't say she wasn't happy for that.

"Beast Boy, stand on the other side of her." He instructed. Beast Boy did as told, crossing his arms.

"Dude, it looks like rain—why don't we do this tomorrow?" The only cloud in the sky hovered far away. Cyborg looked at him skeptically.

"If it rains, we'll go home." He said biting back a grin. Why did this have to happen… "Now take out the bottle I gave you and start coating her." Sighing, Beast Boy did as he was told, taking out a narrow flask with some sort of thick green substance in it.

"What's in this? Sewage?" His nose wrinkled as he poured the goo onto the statue.

"Your Tofu." Cyborg shot back, only receiving a stuck out tongue in response. Soon the statue was coated in a thick green glow, and they both stood back.

"Great—now we have a _green_ Terra statue." Raven commented. Part of her was…happy that nothing was happening. They stood there, for about ten minutes, simply staring at it.

"Um…can we go home now?" Beast Boy asked hopefully, when a sharp crackling sound echoed in the air. Spider web fractures appeared in the cold surface, once begun spreading at a remarkable pace along the statue. For a moment, the eggshell pattern remained...before the entire first layer shattered in an array of dust and shards. And a girl fell forward, caught by one of Cyborg's massive arms. The girl that betrayed them all those years ago.

"Terra." Raven hissed. The girl blinked slowly, standing uneasily to her feet, over all with a highly disoriented expression on her face.

"W-where am I?" She asked, her voice oddly small.

"You remember us?" Cyborg asked, looking down at her. Realization dawned to her, and she took several steps back.

"I...I betrayed you." Her eyes were wide as memories slowly flooded in. Suddenly she started clawing at her suit. "Get this damn thing off me!" She cried. "I won't let him control me again!"

"Easy girl—we'll try to get it off at the tower." Cyborg said gently, trying to calm the hysterical girl. She stopped her efforts and nodded meekly before straitening up. Looking around, she saw the changeling, standing off to the side, he refusing to look directly at her.

"…Beast Boy?" She started, walking towards him. Raven flew between the two, her eyes narrowing.

"Stay away from him." It was almost instinct for her to say that…even if she knew she wouldn't be heard. Terra simply walked through her. Whatever was to happen…she had no say in it. Feeling utterly helpless she turned to watch…watching as the girl…as _Terra_…reached down to touch the boy's arm.

"…I…I'm really sorry." She simply said. He shrugged off her hand and walked away. Her gaze followed him, she clutching the hand that had been pushed aside. There was a flicker of hurt in her eyes…and…Raven didn't like how they followed him.

"Give him some time." Cyborg said, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. Nodding demurely, she didn't say anything for a moment.

Slowly, she opened her mouth. "Why do I smell like sewage?"

---

Raven was not happy with this at all. The girl…the girl that made all the Titans trust her…even _her_ trust her…was now back. The girl that betrayed them, broke Beast Boys heart, and almost killed them all. And to not be there to do anything about anything…she felt irritated at her uselessness.

Back at the tower, Cyborg was busy analyzing her suit, using the main computer to hack into its system. Beast Boy was in the same room, but he didn't seem to be too inclined to talk to the blonde haired girl, and just stood wearily to the side. The process was painful, and Terra was clutching the chair she was in, her knuckles growing white, and sweat beading along her face as she struggled not to cry out. Finally, Cyborg nodded, giving her a thumbs up. "Suits just a suit now—but, there are some clothes in your room if you want to change."

"Good to know." She said, wincing as she stood up. "Be back in a sec." And she vanished down the hallway.

"Come on BB—it was a long time ago." Cyborg rebuked his friend the moment she left the room. Beast Boy didn't answer, his face turning into a glower. They stood in silence for awhile, until the girl came in, back in her former Titan clothing.

"My room…it's still the same." She said, looking surprised.

"Well, we didn't have the heart to change it." Cyborg said, grinning at her. Terra looked over at Beast Boy hopefully, as though wanting to see any reaction at all. He didn't give any, just looking with determination at his hands.

"Man, you guys are old." She announced. "Like years older then I last saw you—how long was I out?" Cyborg did some mental calculation. Terra…during the time she was a statue…hadn't changed at all. She was the same fifteen year old girl, with the same attitude, the same cheerfulness…

"Well…a little over 4 years—and hey, we aren't old!" He defended, looking hurt by the comment.

"Uh huh." She grinned. "So where's Robin and Star?" Beast Boy tensed…Raven knew where this was heading.

"They are at Gotham now." Cyborg said slowly, also sensing what was about to happen. "It's slower here now, so we don't need all the people." Terra did another sweep of the room with her eyes, looking in the darker corners, as though having a feeling there was another member here that wasn't present.

"I don't see Ms. Sunshine either?" She said, then grinned wickedly. "I suppose she got tired of you two slackers as well?" Raven sighed. Even she knew it was meant as a joke, meant as a playful barb…but…it wasn't going to go so well.

Beast Boy shot daggers at the girl, speaking to her for the first time since the girl had arrived. "_Raven_ is dead." And then he left the room. Terra stood slack jawed, her expression turning into a mixture of disbelief…and regret.

"Um…I wouldn't go around mentioning Raven to BB…that's sort of a sensitive subject." Cyborg said after a moment.

"How did it happen?" Terra asked quietly. Raven, hardly in the mood to hear once again how she apparently _died_, followed the other Titan out the room and down the hallway. He went up the stairs, sitting on top of the roof, looking out into the bright day's sky.

He didn't say anything, just kept staring forward, as though trying to process everything that had happened today. Raven did as she always did…sat beside him, knowing that he'd not see or hear anything she'd try to do.

"You better believe I'll be coming back now." She said dryly. "I don't trust Terra." _I don't trust Terra around you_. She mentally clarified to herself. The way Terra had looked at him…she had a feeling that the girl still had feelings for him.

And with her gone….she was scared what would happen.

---

Everything seemed to go in fast forward after that night. Terra…having no where to go, and both Robin and Cyborg feeling it was better for her to stay at the Tower then off where they couldn't keep an eye on her…joined the two Titans. Raven hated that decision…and she was glad that Beast Boy seemed to share similar feelings.

Terra, on the other hand, was elated. "I absolutely promise I won't go bad again!" She had told over the monitor to both Robin and Starfire.

"I do hope that we can trust you." Starfire smiled at the girl, but her expression looked a little doubtful as well. Trust…was hard to build, and so easily shattered. Terra didn't just shatter the Titan's trust—she had completely obliterated it with her actions. Still…she now seemed to be trying to repent. Raven…almost wished the girl had a hidden agenda, a secret plot…that she was going to go evil a second time.

Following the girl around, however, proved none of her theories. In fact, she almost couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl, as she sat alone in her room, her arms tightly across her knees as she stared off in the distance. Sometimes she held the jewelry box Beast Boy had given her, staring at her reflection, as though wising she could change the way things were now.

Raven hated that more then anything. Beast Boy had been the only thing to keep her going through the years…her feelings for him, and his for her. She didn't expect to go running into his arms or anything when she got back—something she _would_ be doing—but…she didn't want to deny her feelings either. She had to return...before anything happened.

The emotion clutching her heart…she knew she was jealous. Jealous of the girl that could be so near Beast Boy…

Terra…was going after him too. That what made it worse. She was pursing Beast Boy. _Her_ Beast Boy. She was trying to break down the barrier he had placed around himself. He ignored her on most days…but she was one of those girls that would get under your skin to the point you had to notice her. She pranked him, tried to get him to play video games, told him lame jokes…pretty much did everything _he_ would do to try and cheer up another person.

Raven…had never hated someone more in her life.

"You always play games with Cyborg!" She whined at him one day, stomping her foot against the floor. "Come on—just one game…unless you are scared a little girl like me can kick your butt."

"I am watching TV." Came his even remark. He was sitting on the couch, some sci-fi show blaring across the screen. She pouted, an act that made Raven seethe.

"Why don't you just go away?" Raven suggested to the girl.

"Then, I'll join you." Terra plopped herself on the couch beside the older boy. He scooted a bit away from her, but didn't stop her, keeping his eyes entirely on the screen. Raven didn't enjoy shows like this…but seeing them both, their eyes glued to the screen as the events unfolded…even that made her a little jealous. Terra…and Beast Boy…they were similar on many levels. She…and Beast Boy were not.

She turned away from the scene and slumped to the floor, clasping her knees to her chest. _I will get out of this._ She tried to reassure herself. One day, she could sit on the couch next to him. One day, she could touch him. One day…

If…it ever would come.

---

Beast Boy at first hated the fact Terra was joining them. Sure, all the reasons made sense, but…still. It was _Terra._ Wasn't that enough to have her leave? Hadn't she caused enough trouble the last time she was here?

But, soon it became natural for her to be there. It wasn't that he'd consider her a friend, exactly…after everything, he didn't want to call her that. It was more that she was a part of the Titan trio, the three of them doing good whenever needed. And in between times, the three could hang out, watch TV, play games—pretty much just goof around.

He tried to keep as much tough exterior as he could to her, but, when Cyborg worked on his T-car or other things, it did just leave the two of them. And she was _fun._ He hated to admit that, but it was true.

And all the past had happened a long time ago…could he hold it against her forever?

Either way, he tried for the first few months, and did a good job, if he could say so him self…but…after that, he started to soften up. _Anyone who eats tofu can't be all bad._ He reasoned to himself. _Sure, she eats everything, but…_

A part of him was worried that by getting close to her to her again, even as simply friends…that he'd be disgracing Raven's name. Raven that still held his heart…was it odd he felt that it would be cheating on her? Even if she was no longer with them? It had taken Raven a long time to trust Terra, and Terra threw that in her face when she betrayed them. And Beast Boy had at one time liked Terra…it just felt weird.

Walking around in T-tower, he noticed Terra wasn't anywhere to be found. It wasn't so much that he was looking for her—he was just bored out of his mind. Cyborg had gone out to get some more parts for his car, nothing was on TV, and he had played all his video games more times then he could count. He was just looking for something to do. He hated being alone, especially when he didn't want to be.

"Stupid TV." He muttered, as he walked into the living room. Opening the fridge, he was dismayed at its bare interior. He was bored, and eating wasn't even an option. "Stupid refrigerator."

Trotting about the building, he slowly went up the steps heading for the roof. In the end…whenever he wasn't sure where to go, he always found himself coming out here. It reminded him of _her_…sometimes he could close his eyes and imagine seeing Raven hovering cross-legged off the ground, deep in meditation. And sometimes, he imagined her turning around, the small smile on her face that she reserved only for the most special of occasions...

These thoughts made him feel empty, as though there was something apart of him that was missing…She was missing. But…they also were pleasant ones, like reminders of better days, treasures he kept deep inside.

As he reached the top of the stairs, his mind flickered to what he could do once he got up there. Maybe he'd go shoot some hoops. By himself. All alone. Opening the door, he ducked back in as he saw the blonde headed girl sitting on top of the roof, her feet dangling off the side. She was looking off in the distance, with an odd expression on her face. He thought about going inside, thinking there had to be something better to do then hang with Terra.

Still, she was looking awfully lonely at the moment. And it couldn't hurt to just talk to her…right?

Stepping out the door, his footsteps interrupted her thoughts, and she spun around. He hadn't noticed it before, but her eyes were filled with tears. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He just wanted company—not an actual conversation. _She's crying!_ Part of him protested. _Dude, you can't leave her now._ Which was true. He couldn't.

"What's up?" She asked, one hand wiping across her face.

"You don't look so good---why are you crying?" He sat several feet away from her.

"I wasn't crying." She responded instantly. He just gave her a cock eyed look, she simply sighing. "Do you know what today is?" He thought for a moment. It was getting close to another year without Raven. That was the first thing that came into mind, and he felt a slight pang in his heart. Other then that…he couldn't think of anything.

"Hopefully not your birthday, cause, I so am not prepared for that." He commented. She shook her head.

"Today was the first day I met all of yall." She hugged her knees. "I kinda wish everything was back the way it was before." Before she betrayed them? Before the Titans split? Before Raven died?...a lot of things had to be different for it to be back that way. He forced himself to hold his tongue though.

"Things happen." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Yah…I just wish we could at least be friends again." She mumbled, more to herself then to him, but the comment didn't go unnoticed. They continued to sit on the roof in complete silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, she spoke. "From what Cy told me…and from what I've seen…you really cared for Raven, didn't you?" Her voice was soft, as though she was hoping the answer wasn't what she had stated.

"I didn't just care for her…I loved her." Beast Boy said after a moment. Absently, he played with the bracelet on his wrist…his remaining reminder of the girl.

Terra nodded. "Did…did you ever tell her?"

"Never got the chance." He squeezed his eyes shut. He would never get the chance to…not now…not in the future…Why did Raven have to…forcing himself away from those thoughts, he tried to focus on the conversation, here and now. "I wish I did though."

"I wish I could have seen her again before…" She didn't finish her sentence, simply staring off into the sky. "I mean, I was a real jerk the last time we met…and…it would have been nice to be able to say sorry." He looked over at her—he never realized how lonely she was.

"Starfire heard her." Beast Boy said, in his mind finding the words to be more comforting to the girl then they came out. In fact, she was just looking at him oddly. Rethinking his thoughts, he tried again. "I mean, I think she's watching over us—the entire angel bit…I'm sure she heard you." It was awkward to be comforting her, but the slight smile she gave him made him feel better.

"An angel? She never seemed to be the white robed winged type." The girl smiled, a smile that was both sad and playful. Despite himself, Beast Boy laughed a bit, although his laugh was dry and abrupt. Terra fidgeted for a moment, before speaking again. "You…you think we can be friends?" She asked meekly, staring down at her feet, her hands twisting together. "I mean, Cy is great and all, but…" He thought about it. It couldn't hurt being her friend.

Holding out one hand, he grinned at her. "Alright." She accepted it gladly, shaking hands in a sort of truce, with a smile to match his own.

---

Raven watched the two talk…she shouldn't be jealous over them…Beast Boy was too nice of a person to stay upset for too long…as much as she wished him to. And…it was just friends. That didn't mean anything.

If that was so, then why could she stop herself from glaring down at the girl? Why couldn't she stop herself from feeling…left out?

And the fact they were bonding over her memory didn't help any.

"I…wish I was there." She said simply, floating over to face the two. They were smiling now…they were laughing…interacting. She was nothing more then the person on the sidelines. One hand out, she reached towards Beast Boy, her fingertips brushing his cheek. "Damn you for making me feel this way." She said, but as much as she felt she was bitter, she couldn't stop how she was feeling.

She was so lonely...never able to feel the touch of the wind…never able to brush the side of a wall…never to be heard or to be seen. She hated all of this—why was it Terra could come back and she couldn't? Why was she the one trapped…alone in a world with only herself? Unanswered questions swirled in her mind, enwrapping her entire body in a veil of doubt.

She…was only a memory to him…how could she care for him so much and still only be that? Why did things have to be this way? Never had she felt this way for one person. And watching them together…why did she get the feeling she was going to slowly feel her heart crushed between them?

Was the emotions that she had discovered for him all in vain? Was she going to end up forever watching him…never being able to be in his world?

And if she came back…would there even be room for her?

---

I hope you enjoyed lol…let me know if you think I was going too slow or too fast with the time line—I'm trying to not drag it out, but at the same time not to dilly dally either, since I'm rather impatient to get to Raven's return…

I greatly appreciate everyone who reviewed! And please do so again :)


	5. Too Late

Disclaimer: I don't own teen titan

AN: Well, once again…Terra haters are not going to like me in this chapter...but what happens here really does help build the plot so nicely….but again I have to promise this will be Raven and Beast Boy!

A big thanks for everyone that Reviewed last chapter!

---

"So, everything is cool with you and her now?" Cyborg had pulled Beast Boy over to the side one day, noting that the two were now laughing and playing video games together.

Nodding, Beast Boy gave him a thumbs up. "Yup—I guess I can't hold a grudge forever." Grinning, he added. "Besides, you know girls can't resist me." He paused, as though realizing what he just said. "Um, not that I'm interested in her at all, because I am so not, but—"

"Hey, hey, I gotcha." Cyborg waved off the other's ramblings. "I think its good—So far she's been completely clean, so letting by gone be by gone…" Cyborg had set up sensors in the girl's room before she officially moved back in, specifically designed to pick up any odd communication devices…you could never be too sure.

Beast Boy grinned once again. After finally making up with Terra, it was almost like it was so long ago. Except they were only friends. Raven would always be the one holding his heart---but it was nice to have a girl who paid so much attention to him. Like Terra.

With those thoughts in his mind, he waved to Cyborg, heading back into the living room where Terra was waiting.

---

It seemed the slower she willed time to go, the faster it went. Once Terra and Beast Boy became friends, it was only a matter of time before it would continue to grow. Terra was subtle—she stuck with the friend role very well. But as time went on…it was becoming more and more obvious she wanted to be more then just friends with Beast Boy. And Raven could do nothing to stop it.

Cyborg wasn't helping it either…he had lately been spending an awful lot of time in his room. And when Raven 'spied' on him, she discovered he seemed to be communicating to someone rather frequently. It was never visually, and he kept whoever it was rather cryptic information, even when writing. While suspicious, she respected his privacy and didn't actually read what he wrote. Not that he would ever know she was there even if she did.

Still, with him busy, it left only Terra and Beast Boy.

On this particular day, they were playing Go Fish, each staring down the other in furious determination. Go Fish was really not a two person game, but they were managing quite well, having more competition in spirit then in actual cards. "Have any queens?" Beast Boy raised an eyebrow.

"Go. Fish." She said, smiling evilly.

"Dang it!" He cried, pulling a card. A wide grin erupted on his face as he slammed down all four queens. "The cards love me." He gloated.

"Quite the charmer, eh?" She laughed at him, touching his hand lightly with her own. Raven watched the hand like it was a snake about to attack, burying its fangs deep into Beast Boy. He hardly blinked. "If you haven't noticed—_I_ am still winning."

"No you—wait…" He counted the piles of completed sets of cards she had versus the amount he had. "Only by one! And it's still _my_ turn." Raven knew he had 2 nines and 1 jack in his hand. Terra had the other three jacks, one eight, and a king. "Do you have any…." He looked back and forth between the two options.

"Say Jacks." Raven told him, hovering beside him. Her fingers brushed the hand that held the Jack. They moved slightly, and he studied the cards carefully.

"…Jacks?" He asked. Terra groaned and handed him the three she had.

"You cheated." She accused. Puffing up, he smiled once again.

"It's all luck." He said.

In the end, he still lost…but it made Raven feel a little better having helped him. In a game of cards. While he and Terra chatted so warmly.

Alright, it didn't help at all.

Constant hidden flirting. Constant _touching_. Just light nudges between friends. Beast Boy wasn't taking it to mean more. But it felt like Terra knew exactly what she was doing.

---

Terra stood in front of the mirror, doing her best to brush out her long hair. A smile played on her lips as she deemed herself acceptable, heading for the door. Tonight, she was going to make her move.

Beast Boy had been the first person to ever understand her—to ever be willing to be anything more then just friends with her. He had been her first crush, her first best friend, her first family. And now, while older….he was still at times the same awkward boy that had handed her the jewelry box all those years ago. The same one who helped her fight Slade's control.

_Raven's been gone for almost 4 and a half years now._ She thought in her head. Raven was still on his mind…she had talked to him about her on more then one occasion, and she knew that he had loved her. It made her jealous that the brooding girl of her memories somehow earned his love…but…at the same time it made her feel bad that he was in love with someone who could never return it.

_I want him to love me that way…_she couldn't help but think. When the two of them were together, she felt she really belonged somewhere…and if she could earn his feelings as well, then maybe she could help him finally move on from Raven.

The door slid shut behind her as she walked down the hallway. Beast Boy was making some tofu sandwiches in the kitchen, and didn't even notice as she entered. "Feel like making a hungry girl some as well?" She asked, sitting at the counter. He laughed.

"Tofu dinner, coming up." He said, and busily made some more. She watched him, her eyes following as he spun about the kitchen, making the food.

"The Clash of the Planets is coming on at 9—wanna watch it together?" Terra asked as he set the plate before her.

"Seriously?" He asked excitedly. "I'm so in!" Beaming, Terra lifted up her whole plate, shoveling the sandwiches with determination in her mouth. Blinking as he watched her, he shook his head. "Dude, I have _no_ idea how you can eat like that."

---

Beast Boy plopped onto the couch, Terra sitting next to him. The TV sounds flared in the room as the opening theme of Clash of the Planets rang out. He was completely absorbed in the movie, his mouth slightly opened as he watched the scenes unfold. He knew exactly what was going to happen. He knew every line, every stance…but whenever he watched it, he was once again sucked into their world.

It was only at the end of the movie that he noticed Terra had scooted closer to him. He was already at the end of the couch, so he decided not to comment. _Maybe she got scared_. He reasoned with himself.

Once it ended, Terra stretched out her lanky form, and looked over at him. "You know, you look like a zombie when you watch TV." She poked him in the side.

"I dooooo not." He said, as he plastered a zombie look on his face, holding his arms out like one possessed. She laughed at him, grabbing both of his cheeks and pulling them out.

"Much better." She snickered. He responded by grabbing her own cheeks and pulling them out as well, causing her to gain a similar goofy expression. They stayed like that for a second, before they both let go, laughing at one another. "Did you ever hang out with Raven like this?" She suddenly asked. Immediately Beast Boy felt himself somber up.

"No—she didn't like these kind of movies." He said after a moment. "She wouldn't have watched it with just with me either."

"Oh." Nodding, Terra just continued to look at him, her blue eyes reflecting oddly in the glow of the television. "I like hanging just with you." A faint blush spread across her face, a similar one on his own.

"Yah, I'm glad we are friends again." He said hurriedly, hoping to change subjects quickly. She didn't seem to have that in mind however.

"Would Raven want you never to move on?" Her voice was quiet, but with intention.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He stuttered, her question catching him off guard. She simply smiled, looking down at her hands.

"I'm willing to wait for you." _Why am I blushing?_ He yelled at himself. At his distraction, the girl suddenly leaned in and kissed him straight on the lips. Bounding to her feet, her grin still remaining on her face as she looked on at his confusion. "Just think it over—goodnight!" And she vanished.

For several minutes, he just sat there, completely stunned. Did she…did she really just… "What just happened?" He moaned, putting his head in his hands. _I love Raven!_ He told himself—and he knew it was still true by the way his heart fluttered and the way he felt sick at the fact he had kissed someone other then her—even if it was really the other person who had kissed him.

But there was a tiny voice inside of him that was beginning to grow. Raven was gone…and what Terra said made sense. Would Raven want him to never move on?

He didn't want someone else…he wanted her. But...she was gone.

"Terra is just a friend!" He said to the darkness. Things had just gotten too complicated for him. _Sleep._ He told himself. _Tomorrow this will just be some weird dream._

---

Terra didn't just do that. She couldn't have. That girl…She…how could she? Raven felt herself become angry, and was doing her best to calm down. Beast Boy hadn't initiated it. Terra did. That didn't mean he liked her.

That didn't mean that she had been forgotten.

Again and again the girl was reminding her how _useless_ she was… If Raven was there…none of this would happen. If she was there…She backed up slowly, out of the room, out of the Tower completely. For awhile, it was just her staring at the window, watching the glow of the TV pour out…until finally it was turned off, returning the world into darkness.

Beast Boy would be going to his room. He'd be thinking over what had happened, becoming more and more confused. There would be questions if holding out on Raven was worth it…since she was after all dead. And Terra was very much alive. Terra would probably be smiling her cocky smile, hugging the stupid little box _he_ had given her, thinking it was only a matter of time. Cyborg might catch hints what was going on, but he was too busy with his own life to try and stop it—in fact, he might _encourage it. _

Why should Beast Boy be putting his life on hold for someone who wasn't alive? For someone buried deep in the ground…for her? They didn't know she was trying so hard to come back…they didn't know how hard it was for her to keep hoping that one day she would return...How hard it was for her to keep thinking that she would have a place even if she did. How hard it was for her to actually feel for someone so much and never be able to tell him.

Raven flipped up her hood, finding comfort in the shadows of it, even if it did no good. It was just a kiss, initiated by Terra. That didn't mean it would lead to anything.

---

The next few weeks Beast Boy did everything in his power to avoid Terra. If she came into the room, he'd scramble some excuse together and leave. If they all went out to eat, he would be the first one done and leave just Terra and Cyborg to finish. His mind was a complete mess and he wasn't sure what to think anymore.

He still loved Raven. Everything in his body told him that was true. For some reason, that made him feel better. Terra had kissed him, but his heart was still Raven's. A part of him told him he should talk to Terra about it, get things straighten out—tell her that he just wanted to be friends with her and nothing more. But…the little voice from before kept nagging him…the little voice that told him that maybe he should give this a chance…that maybe he should let Raven go.

_But I don't want to do that!_ He protested to himself. He wanted to hold on to Raven forever. _You've held on for so many years…she'd want you to find someone else._ The other part of him reasoned. "This is ridiculous!" He cried, laying back on his bed. Every night it was a constant struggle.

A loud knocking sound on his door interrupted his thoughts. Panicked, wondering if it was Terra, wondering what he should do, he just stared wide eyed at the door, praying that she would just leave. That she'd think he wasn't there. That—

"Yo BB—its me!" The deep voice was a welcome interruption to his thoughts. Flinging off his bed, almost tripping in his haste, he swung the door open.

"What's up?" He asked, trying to look completely calm and collected. And of course it being him, he failed miserably.

"Well, I was hoping you and Terra would sort out whatever it is that happened by now, but seeing as that you haven't…I thought we'd have a little chat." His friend grinned at him.

"I-its nothing." The changeling stuttered.

"I've known you forever." The other half smiled, raising one eyebrow. He walked into the room, sitting on an idle chair. "I'm waiiting." Crossing his hands, he looked at the other in mock impatience.

"Geez…" Beast Boy muttered, sitting on the edge of his own bed. Still…it would be nice to get his point of view. Maybe he could help him figure out what to do. "Alright—this happened awhile ago, but Terra and I were watching Clash of the Titans. After the movie, she started asking if Raven and I did stuff like that, then how much she enjoyed hanging out with me. A-and after that she asked if Raven would want me to hold on forever and that she was willing to wait…then, dude…she _kissed me_! Right before running out of the room." His words came out fast, almost garbled in the speed he was trying to get them out. Cyborg seemed to catch all of it though, and just nodded, a smile playing off his lips.

"You having girl troubles—that in itself is _hilarious_." He snickered.

"Heey! I really need help here!" Beast Boy waved his hands, glaring at the Titan.

"Alright, alright—well, what do you think of her?" Cyborg asked.

"She's nice and all—but I love Raven."

"Well, in general—even if you start having a relationship with someone else, a part of you will probably always love Raven…that doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold." Cyborg told him.

"Bu-but—" Was he saying he should move on? That he should possibly even try things with Terra? Or? Questions spun in his mind, his confusion written all over his face.

"It really depends on if you are ready to do that." He finished. "I'm just saying it won't lesson your old feelings for Raven any by developing new ones for another person…it has been a long time B—I'm sure she would have wanted you to be happy."

"But how am I supposed to know if I'm ready?" He muttered darkly.

"That's all you man." Cyborg shrugged his metal shoulders.

For awhile neither of them said anything. Beast Boy was mulling over what the other had said, and Cyborg just seemed lost in thought. Finally, in an effort to break the tension, the green boy asked. "Since when have you been so good at giving advice?" A slow smile developed on his lips as a thought crossed his mind. "Cy has a girlfriend! Cy has a girlfriend!" He cried out, earning a half angry, half blushing expression from the metal man.

"Whatever dude—and even if I _do_ its none of your business."

"You've been spending an _awwfulll_ lot of time in your room lately. You've been writing to someone…" He wagged one of his fingers at his friend.

"You know—" The older Titan looked like he was about to say something, then suddenly changed his mine. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Cyborg puffed, and then walked out of the room.

_Maybe he really does have a girlfriend?_

---

She had already seen this…she knew what was coming, and yet for some reason she couldn't tear herself away. It was like watching a badly done movie, where no matter how much you complain, you still find yourself watching until the very end.

After talking with Cyborg, Beast Boy's confidence seemed to be boosted. Of course…since she was gone, it would be wise for him to move on. Everything his friend said made sense…everything from _their_ point of view. And Raven's hardly mattered anymore. She didn't matter.

"Hey Terra?" A few days later Beast Boy went up to the blonde haired girl, apparently having decided to confront the issue head on, instead of simply skirting around it like he had done earlier. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure BB." She smiled up at him, following him up to the roof. The roof that Raven use to come to on a regular bases to meditate…if he was up here, then she was on his mind. That made her feel a little better. Even if Terra was there as well.

"Alright, you know what happened a few weeks ago." So far he was holding out strong, although he looked down at his feet as he said that, an embarrassed expression running across his face.

"When I kissed you?" She leaned over to look him straight in the eyes, grinning a bit as he squirmed uncomfortably. Terra…was certainly forward…she knew what she wanted and was doing her best to get it.

"Y-yah." He stuttered, then suddenly moved to the edge of the roof sitting down so he could look out into the landscape. "I-I've been thinking a lot over it." Even Raven wasn't sure what he was going to say…he had been sitting on his bed, just staring up at his wrist, playing with the beads that Cyborg had given him the day of her funeral. He'd pull them, letting them snap back to his wrists with a gentle thwap…as though deciding with each pull whether or not to let her go…whether or not it was time to move on.

"I don't want you to decide right away." Terra interrupted him, sitting down beside him. "Look…you've been through a lot. I…I just really like you. I know Raven will always be apart of you, but…I want another crack at winning your heart." Her words sounded clumsy as they rolled off her tongue…but they were honest. Raven hated how honest they were.

Terra…really did have feelings for Beast Boy. And Raven…really was gone.

Beast Boy didn't say anything for awhile, swinging his feet back and forth as he seemed to think over what was just said. "Give me more time to think." He blinked, as though surprised by his own words.

"Sure." Terra nodded. "But…you think we can still hang out while you think things over? No matter what, I want to still be friends." She admitted. "It makes me feel like you hate me all over again."

He snickered at her. "Who says I don't?"

"I do of course." She winked at him, which earned both a laugh and half a blush from the changeling. "Well, I'm going back inside—I got some laundry to do. C'ya!" She saluted to him, and then headed back in.

Beast Boy just remained where he was, looking still confused, but, at the same time…with a new realization. "What should I do?" He murmured into the wind.

"Wait for me." Raven said instantly…then stopped. Was it fair for her to say that? Beast Boy deserved happiness…and she didn't even know if she could ever come back. She should be glad for him…shouldn't she?

Then why did it feel like her entire reason for trying to come back was slowly melting away?

---

Cyborg sighed as he sat in his room. What if Beast Boy started snooping on him? And figured out what was going on? Shaking his head, he decided his curious friend would probably not even think about doing that. Not when he was so occupied in trying to figure out what to do with Terra.

"I hate drama." He shook his head. Flicking on his computer, he watched as a little message popped up at him, telling him he had two new messages. Quickly, his eyes flickered across the screen as he read, deleting them both when he was finished.

They were just telling him what had been going on—how her day had been, and what her numbskull partners messed up this time. Nothing that interesting. Why then did his heart refused to slow down? Glaring about the room, he repeated his earlier statement. "I hate drama."

---

Sometimes, it takes only a small thing to happen to trigger an entire calamity of events. Like the extra long gaze at a person sitting down the table to make you feel gushy inside. Or watching a bubble pop to make you feel like nothing in this world matters. That is what happened to Beast Boy.

He was sitting in his room. It was only a week away until the day Raven had died. Terra and him hung out as always, but he kept it strictly as friends, and she hadn't pushed the matter, holding true that she wasn't going to rush him.

Every night he thought over what he should do. Terra…really did care for him…she was trying her best to become a better person, to make up for all the things she had done in her past. She laughed, joked, played all sorts of games with him…if he really tried, he probably could fall for her again. But it wouldn't be the same.

She wasn't Raven.

Raven...was an enigma. She didn't show many of her emotions, but it made the ones that slip out of her all the more special…she didn't tell jokes, but her remarks were by far more amusing then most he'd come up with. Serious and stoic…opposite in him in every way. Yet…they balanced each other…he never felt more happy in his life whenever he saw her smiling. He never felt more depressed when sadness echoed in her eyes. It made him want to be there for her forever…but…she wasn't here anymore, was she?

She was gone. For five long years she had been gone.

What should he do? As he thought, he pulled the bracelet once again, this time a little too far then he should have. The fraying string that kept the beads in place snapped, the tiny balls pattering on his bed.

For a second he laid there, the broken string in his hands. A part of him was angry…he had broken the bracelet that she had worn. A part of him was sad…it was his memento of Raven. But most of him felt this was a sign. Carefully he gathered the beads, setting them gently on the table in his room.

It was time to move on.

---

Raven was following Terra around. Normally she'd choose anyone over the cheerful girl, but today…she felt like something was going to happen. And if something was going to happen, it was probably going to be with _this_ girl.

Beast Boy appeared in the hallway, looking oddly shadowed in the light of the hall.

"Hey! I was just looking for you!" She called out to him. He didn't say anything, but gestured for her to come with him. "Um…silence really doesn't suit you." She remarked, but did as she was told. They left the Tower, going down by the rocks.

Raven didn't like this. He had always gone to the roof whenever he wanted to talk or think. Not the rocks. The rocks held more memories of him and Terra…and less of Raven.

There was a sinking feeling in her chest.

"I…I think I've thought things over enough." He said after a moment, facing the girl.

"Oh?" She looked at him expectantly, awaiting an answer.

"I will always love Raven…but…its been a long time." He began, his voice slightly cracked, but held surprising strength. "I…I think I'm willing to try things out with you. If you still want to?" The words were rushed, filled with doubt, uncertainty…but also hope.

She didn't say anything, just looking at him, a blush forming on her own face. A small smile appeared on her lips and she rushed over at him, leaping into his arms. "Most definitely!" Her face was lit up…she was so happy. And Beast Boy…was smiling as well. He had returned the embrace…and now…they were leaning closer…and closer….

Raven couldn't handle this. She couldn't watch. She couldn't see them...Turning away, she flew from the two, flying high up onto the roof. Unwanted tears were burning in her eyes and she was doing best to fight them off. This was for the best. He had chosen. He had chosen to give up her…and to move on to Terra.

Yet her pain at rejection…at being rejected simply because she wasn't there…it hurt. It hurt a lot. "Why?" She asked again and again. "This isn't fair."

For several days she couldn't muster the courage to leave the roof. She didn't want to go downstairs…she didn't want to see them. Not now. There was no reason to try so hard if all her efforts were just going to be in vain. _This isn't like you, _a part of her snarled. _No matter what happens, you are still you—even if he has fully moved on._ Her hope was gone though…the one thing that had been carrying her forward.

Finally…she pried herself from the tower. 5 years today. The Titans were leaving, heading to her gravestone now, to leave flowers and give their respects…and a part of her was wishing that Beast Boy would change his mind when he saw it, that he would realize he didn't want to let go just yet. Either that…or he would only be more certain of his actions.

Beast Boy was the last to leave, he wanting a moment alone before continuing. He knelt on the ground, one hand resting on top the cold stone surface. "Raven…I wanted you to know my feelings for you haven't changed…but—I'm gonna also try and move on. Terra really is a nice girl now—I think you'd like what she has become." He reached in his pockets pulling out something, setting it on top of the ground. "These belong to you." Standing up, dusting the dirt off his knees, he ran to catch up to the waiting group. Terra patted his shoulder, then reached down to take one of his hands…which he accepted gladly.

Raven looked onto the ground. The beads. They were set by her grave in a neat little pile. A sign that he was going to move forward. That he was no longer be contained by the past. That his love for her was no longer going to stop him from finding someone else. He really had let her go. She…was no longer needed there. She…had no reason for returning.

_I'd be just as good staying here._ She thought to herself. Staying by her body, in a grave that proclaimed to the world her death. Raven was dead. Maybe…it was time for her spirit to rest as well.

Time ticked by…Raven guessed it was probably closed to the time when she had fought the glow and the dark ball…all those years ago. If she hadn't of been caught off guard, she would still be here…she would…

Suddenly, the strangest feeling over took her. She felt like something was dragging her…down. Gasping, she struggled against it, as she was pulled into the depths of the earth. The beads that were sitting before her grave were pulsing with light, all five slowly coming together to form a circle around her. They vanished from view as her head was pulled into the ground.

It was dark wherever she was going. Her arms were suddenly clasped to her sides, she turning horizontal as she continued to go down. Suddenly, she touched something cold, a feeling of being drenched once again overcoming her. For a long time nothing happened, when she felt a ripping pain in her heart. And then…she opened her eyes. Her real eyes.

Raising one hand up, it came in _contact_ with something wooden. All around her came the earthy scents of the ground, as well as a particular sharp odor that reminded her of something that had been rotten for a long time.

Gritting her teeth, another wave of pain hit her. She could audibly hear her bones stretching within her skin. She could feel her hair snake around her as it began to grow in furious determination. Her feet hit the end of the box she was in and she was forced to bend her knees to the ceiling as her legs grew in length. Finally it stopped.

Breathing heavily, confusion was washing away as understanding hit her. 5 beads. 5 years. Her body had grown five years in one instant. And she was in her grave. Feeling her body, her hands closed on loose tatters of the simple black dress the Titans had dressed her in for her funeral.

5 beads…5 years.

Slamming her head against the back of her coffin, she felt herself growing angry…frustrated. Tears were running down her cheeks unchecked and she couldn't do anything to stop them. Too late…this was all too late.

She was back, and there was no one left for her.

---

Wooo…Tomorrow school officially starts and I really wanted to get this chapter done before then…so I apologize for any extra spelling errors then usual…

And after written all that Terra and Beast Boy stuff, I have to exclaim--- BEAST BOY AND RAVEN FOREVER!

Much better…

Please Review!


	6. A Not So Stranger

Disclaimer: Ummm…I still do not own teen titans

AN: Wooo—all you reviewers have made my day!

---

A young man was walking through the cemetery. Time and time again he was told that he shouldn't use the cemetery as a short cut home, that it didn't do to disturb the dead. He wasn't one to pay to much attention to such superstitions—it wasn't like they were complaining or anything. He smiled at the thought, amused by his own wit when suddenly he heard a soft clunking sound coming beside him.

Pausing momentarily, he dismissed the sound to an overactive imagination, until very suddenly a white glow appeared on top of a near by grave. Taking several steps back, he watch in horrid fascination as a _woman_ rose from the ground. Her skin was ghostly pale, tinted grey in the light. Hair that appeared to be black at one angle and purple at another swished around her, forming soft waves down to the small of her back. A black dress clung to her body, looking both tattered and thread bare, as though it was on the verge of finishing its decay right then and there. She was so thin…almost sickly in appearance as she stood there, looking at the grave below her.

It was her eyes that gave the life in her away. They were shiny from spilt tears, the light reflecting in them causing him to catch his breathe. Despite her pale, thin appearance…she was beautiful. Nothing could hide that. The grave stone she had been looking at turned white and exploded as anger glittered in her eyes. She sunk to the ground, her eyes wide as she stared at the rubble.

The man could say he had never been more afraid and fascinated in his entire life.

She suddenly realized his presence, and floated to her feet. "Do…you see me?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly, as though it had been a long time since she had spoken.

Dumbly he nodded his head, taking a few steps back as she closed the distance between them. Hesitantly she touched him, brushing his shoulders as her eyes glinted with some kind of inner happiness.

"I can touch you." She almost sounded…surprised.

"A…are you dead?" He stumbled over the words. Her hands shot back from his shoulders as though he was poison, and her eyes darkened quickly.

"Give me your coat." She said very softly. He quickly ripped off the trench coat he had been wearing and handed it to her. He had a feeling that not doing as he was told wouldn't be the smartest of things. Slipping it on, she turned and walked away, not once looking back.

"Alright—never cutting through the cemetery again." He told himself firmly.

---

"People can see me." Raven murmured to herself. "People can hear me…I can touch them…" Everything…every brush of the wind, of the ground underneath her…she was really back. She was really here. The only problem was that the one person she wanted to see…to touch…was no longer hers.

She couldn't go back. It had taken him five years to get over her…to go back would just bring in chaos. No matter how much she wanted to, how much it hurt…it was better this way. He had found someone…he had…

_He'd give her up for you. You know he would._

But…she was dead.

_No you aren't_.

It wouldn't be fair.

_It wouldn't be fair not to._

Nothing made sense anymore…she couldn't simply go back. Nothing was that simple. Everything had consequences and she had to face them. She was back, and everyone was gone. That was real for right now. Hungry, tired, cold, alone. That was real. She had nothing…no money…only some man's coat and a dress that had seen better days.

A bitter smile spread across her face. One thing had improved with her mishap. The books had been correct in saying same beads that had sent her here could improve her control. Reaching up, a stone lifted to her hand, surrounded in a _white_ glow. The same color that appeared every time she had full control of her powers.

More control…meant she could feel more. It didn't matter though. What was there to feel? Happiness that she returned and no one was waiting for her?

Her feet took her down the streets, where she received odd looks from passersby. The coat she was wearing was buttoned all the way up, the dress discarded in some trash can. Considering it stank of mildew and was in poor condition already…this was sadly an improvement. And if that was an improvement, she knew she had to look a mess.

This is what happens when you've been dead for so long.

Passing by a bakery, she peered in despite herself. For five years she didn't have to eat, and now…she was starving. It was an odd sensation to have after so long…it made her feel so normal, so human. Feeling a little faint, her forehead touched the window as her strength started to give away. So hungry…shaking her head she continued on. No money. No food.

What should she do? Did she simply disappear? Get a job and try to continue life? Without ever being able to see her friends again?

She stopped at the thought. Raven couldn't see them again. It had just dawned to her. For five years she knew exactly what Beast Boy and Cyborg were up to. She knew how the team was doing, even if she couldn't help or say anything. And now, when she could participate, she couldn't go to them. She didn't know what was worst.

_You can go back._ The voice inside of her was very persistent. She wanted to go back…she wanted to so much…but…

Looking off to the side, Raven noticed she was standing in front of some sort of costume shop. An old mirror hung in the window besides several masks, causing her to catch the first glimpses of her new, five years older form. Fingers brushed each side of her face, following the curve of her cheek bone. She was still Raven. Older, gaunter, but still her. Studying the masks around it, she halfway wondered if she should somehow hide her face.

_Why? You want to be found._ Her mind was in conflict. She didn't know what she should do, what was the right path. Everything had gone wrong. And what if it happened again? She had picked up the beads earlier and set them in the pocket of the coat, not wanting to risk trying to destroy them. The only counter spell was at the tower.

All the more reason to go.

"We got the goods—let's have a little fun." Raven narrowed her eyes as she picked up a particularly harsh whisper from behind her. Turning around, she saw two men hurrying down the side walk, carrying a suspicious bag between them. One caught her eye and pulled the other's arm, causing the two to slow down.

_Great._ She thought to herself. "Interesting clothes." One smirked at her. Raven simply glared. "No place to go?" He snickered. With her oversized coat and skinny appearance…it really did look that way. And…in a sickening realization…he was right. Raven still remained silent, hoping they'd get bored of her and move on. It wouldn't do to make a scene. She was still in Jump City and the Titans were patrolling. _You know you want them to come…_

"Why don't you come with us babe?" The other leaned against the window beside her, one arm casually resting inches from her shoulders. The first moved to the other side in similar fashion. Apparently they were trying the entire intimidating approach. She had just been dead for five years. They were the least of her fears. The taller man casually slipped his hand about her shoulders. Raven felt herself tense. Despite the fact she was glad people could see and hear her right now, she wasn't going to stand for this.

"Let's have some fun…"

"Do not touch me." She said, and she slammed one elbow hard into the man's stomach. He keeled a bit in pain, while the other gripped her by her hair.

"Feisty eh?" He said harshly. Raven could easily send these two men flying, but they were just normal jerks. So she instead brought her knee up straight into his groin, sending him falling to the ground.

"Must I repeat myself? Do. Not. Touch. Me." She started to walk away, not liking how the people around were beginning to gather, noticing the odd scene carry out. This was the last thing she wanted.

"Now you're just getting on my nerves." The first said, slamming his fist into the glass. The glass shattered from the impact, sending a rain of glass about them. The other got to his feet, one fist pounding into his glove.

"You're so going down." As he said this, a foot cop rounded the corner, shouting something on his walkie-talkie. "Damn it—cops!"

"Let's just trash the area—too late for a quiet escape." The other frowned.

"Stop! Thief!" Of course. These had to be robbers to boot. With a wide grin across his face, the young man yanked the mirror out of the shop and threw it at the cop. Raven held out one hand, managing to slow it in its course, but it still hit him heavily knocking the cop clean out.

Meanwhile, the other one casually kicked at the street light as he made his way toward her, an evil glint in his eye. Apparently she hadn't been forgotten about. The light toppled over, falling to the ground. With one hand he picked her up by the folds of her jacket, sending her flying across the street. Managing to fight control, she spun in the air, levitating down into the ground.

And not even ordinary robbers.

_Let the police handle it._ She ordered herself. But…it was in her nature not to let them go. _What if they come?_ The Titans. The one that threw her across the street was now busy vandalizing the area, slamming his fists into the walls, throwing cars at the fleeing civilians. And the other had gotten to his feet, and was walking over to her. Fine. If they wanted to fight, she would fight. She levitated into the air, white energy encasing her fists.

"Stupid witch!" The other was yelling up at her, tossing a near by car in her direction.

Slipping it on, she barely managed to use her magic to catch the oncoming car. Turning it back at the two, she hit them solidly and they flew through the air, landing in a confused pile on the ground. A little stronger then normal people, but they didn't seem to be all that tough. "Leave Jump City." She said coldly to the two below her.

"What are you? Some kind of freakin' Titan!"

"No…I'm worse." A white hand came out of the ground they were standing on, grasping the two brothers with its claws. The older simply slammed his fist into the palm of the large hand, causing it to vanish and for the brothers to land lightly on the ground.

"Best you can do, sweety?" The other asked, a nasty grin on his face. Raven rolled out of the way as the younger one grabbed the street light he had knocked over earlier and threw it towards her. Focusing, she picked it right back up and used her powers to bend the metal around him.

His muscles bulged in his attempts to escape. "Bro, I need some help here!" He called. The other brother had ducked inside the nearby diner during their encounter, and was holding up a tearstained little girl.

"Let him go." He told her, shaking the girl by the collar of her shirt. The girl clutched the edges of her dress, looking frozen in fear.

_Threatening little girls—now that makes him tough._ She thought to herself angrily. The guy had no weapon…she could very easily…Concentrating, she acted like she was releasing the brother, while her mind reached out for the rock behind the other. Slowly it floated in the air…

"Look out!" The younger one exclaimed, but it was too late. Raven let the rock slam into the side of the others head, knocking him cleanly unconscious. And, feeling particularly out of sorts, she did the same to the other one. Jump City villains really had gotten softer over the years. Levitating the black bag the man was carrying to her own hands, she made her way to the girl, who was sobbing on the street by the unconscious man, looking too scared to move.

Then she heard a very familiar sound.

"Titans, Go!"

She froze.

It was Cyborg's voice.

She had to fly high in the air as a blue beam of light hit the area in front of her, cutting her off from the girl. Spinning around, she cursed herself at how bad this looked. She was some person in a trench coat, with a black bag in one hand, a wrecked neighborhood around her, and was walking to a very upset little girl.

This couldn't get any worse.

She tried to wave her hands, tried to say anything to tell them they had made a mistake…but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't say anything.

Just knowing they could see her…knowing they were watching her…it was a much welcomed feeling. Even if they were currently attacking her. She put up a white shield to block a coming attack by Terra, but missed seeing the green little animal dart by her, turning last minute into a lion slashing giant claws at her.

Falling to her knees, one hand clutched the open gash on her arm. Her hair formed a fan about her face, her eyes narrow slits from in between the dark strands. The three circled her menacingly, as though just waiting for her to try and escape. Terra's fist were glowing yellow, an army of stones floating all around her. Cyborgs sonic cannon was aimed in her direction, one of his eyes narrowing darkly. And...and there he was. Standing right there. His arms outstretched defensively as he mentally went through what animal would be best for whatever she did next.

"You're outnumbered—might as well come easy." The metal man smirked. All she had to do was to brush aside her hair, to stare at them all as they grow in shock over who she was. But…Terra and Beast Boy…everyone had worked so hard to get over her. _Was it fair?_

"I…" She started to say, when suddenly the very girl she had saved earlier came running at her, catching the three Titans off guard.

"No!" Cyborg shouted, but the girl paid no heed, and stood in front of Raven, stretching out her arms protectively.

"D-don't hurt her!" She stuttered, her voice high and scared. The Titans did a collective blink. Raven felt herself waver. An unfamiliar feeling clutched her. It was similar to fear…but also drenched in embarrassment. What should she do? She was…scared for them to find her. It was odd to be so terrified of letting her friends see her like this, after five years they thought she had been dead. She didn't know what she should do. She didn't want to hurt them more by coming back.

The sickening feeling in her stomach grew, and finally she slowly crawled to her feet, stretching out one hand towards the costume shop she had been standing earlier. A white mask floated into her hand and she slipped it on, hardly caring of the odd looks she was getting from the other Titans.

She wasn't Raven at the moment. She was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. They wouldn't have attacked her if they even suspected whom she was. Get this over with. Then go. Leave them. "The villains you are looking for are right there." She said darkly, her voice muffled by the mask she was wearing. Good. They wouldn't recognize her voice either.

"Annie!" An older woman cried, running across the street. The little girl before her ran to the woman, jumping into her arms. She looked over at Raven, a look of gratitude on her face.

"Thank you so much for stopping them!" Then she frowned at the other three, who were in the process of looking _very _sheepish. "Shame on you!" She then turned and walked away, carrying the little girl, who waved bye to Raven, who returned the gesture.

_Now go._ She told herself. _Turn around and walk away. Don't interfere with their lives._

_You are just scared._ Of course she was. She wasn't going to deny that. She had been gone for five years. Returning now...letting them see her…she couldn't handle it at the moment. Being _there_ once again was enough for now. One arm still gripping the torn trench coat, she turned on the road, and started down it.

"Hey! Wait!" Beast Boys voice filled the air. Her heart stopped at those words. It had nothing to do with her…but…In her hesitation, the three Titans were suddenly around her.

"So…you're a good guy." Cyborg said slowly. "Man, I am so sorry!"

"Yah—you save the day and we come to kick your butt…not the best way to say thanks." Terra admitted.

"Whatever." Just keep walking. Then there was Beast Boy. The person whom she was in love with. The person who was now looking at her in complete concern.

"Dude—I hit you didn't I?" He asked softly.

"It's nothing." Why wouldn't her head stop spinning? Beast Boy had Terra.

"Why don't we check out that cut over at the Tower? We'll take you out to dinner, and, and if you want, you can have some free shots at that grass stain here since he's the one that cut you." Cyborg suggested. The Tower. If she went…

She couldn't go back with them. It would kill her to leave. She couldn't. "Go with the people that attacked me?" Her words came out harsh, as she struggled not to give in to her own wants. This is what's for the best. It would only lead to chaos. Levitating in the air, she started to fly away, to never see them again. It _hurt_ talking with them. It _hurt_ having Beast Boy so close and not being able to tell him who she was.

"He—"

"If she doesn't want to come, we can't make her."

A similar rush of dizziness hit her, the same as before. Considering she was probably not in good health, using her powers so much in one encounter had really drained her. _Just get out of their sight. You can pass out and die then. Just make it out of their sight._ She urged herself. But…her body was protesting. And her healing natural healing prowess was kicking in…draining her further.

Arm burning, head throbbing, she saw black as she tumbled down to the ground.

---

Why did this scene feel so familiar? Had she seen it before? Her lying on the medical bay…only this time she was alive and still breathing. Only this time no one knew it was her. She opened her eyes slowly, letting them get use to the light. Looking down, she realized she was wearing odd night dress, that didn't belong to her. Frantically, she brought her hands to her face. The mask was secure.

"Our old teammate would freak if we ever thought about removing his mask—figured we'd give you the same respect." Commented the oldest Titan lightly as he saw her actions.

How could she simply have passed out? She mentally cursed herself. Now she was at the tower. The walls…so familiar. The sounds…so familiar. Beast Boy probably wasn't too far away. Neither was Terra…

"Miss?"

This was the worse situation. It was one to leave them without ever seeing again. Another to be in the tower with them. The urge to tell them who she was just kept growing. But…it had been five years…she was…

"YO GIRL!" The loud voice caused her to jump. He had been talking to her. Being ignored for 5 years…it was still hard to accept.

"I have to go." She said, starting to stand to her feet. Go before it got to hard. He gently pushed her down with his hand.

"Nuh uh—I don't know who you are, but I think you have to get some rest and nutrients in you." He pushed some tray of food over to her, winking a bit. "Girl, you're skin and bones—when's the last time you've eaten?"

_Over five years ago._ "It's been awhile." She said darkly. Her body was weak and she needed the food. Accepting it, she started to eat, hardly caring what it tasted like. Cyborg left her to it, going out into the hallway.

---

"Alright, sooo…what should we do?" Beast Boy asked, crossing his arms. The three were gathered in the living room while their mysterious guest still sat in the infirmary.

"I kinda feel bad for her." Terra nuzzled up next to him. "She doesn't appear to have any place to go—I mean, come on! It looked like she hadn't had a decent meal in months, and only some coat to wear…" Considering before the Titan's Terra lived day by day wondering where she was going to sleep, what she was going to eat…she knew what it felt to be in that situation. Beast Boy squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Well, we can't make her stay here." Cyborg frowned. "And, hate to say it, but we don't really know anything about her." Eyes furrowing, he tried to shake off an odd sense of déjà vu coming from the stranger. Something about her was so familiar, and it set him on edge.

"Dudes, how about I just go sweet talk her into staying here for awhile, and then we get to know her that way." Beast Boy grinned.

"Considering you attac—"

"We all did!" He defended. "That was way embarrassing."

"Even if we didn't, do remember I _am_ your girlfriend." Terra punched his arm affectionately. "How about sweet talking me?"

"Jealous?" He cocked his head at her.

"Do I have a reason to be?" She drawled out, tapping her fingers on his arm.

"Never." He said with a small grin.

"WELL THEN." Cyborg said rather loudly over the younger two, interrupting their playful banter. "As much as it sickens—as I love seeing you two lovebirds go at it, I think I'm going to go check on our patient. Why don't you guys get a room or something? I mean seriously." He shook his head at the two. They were always so upbeat, so affectionate to each other---it was almost irritating to stand, even for him.

---

Raven tossed on the infirmary bed, the hard surface keeping her up. Cyborg had checked on her briefly before heading off to power down, telling her she could sleep here. She pried off the mask from her face and held it in the air, watching the light reflect eerily from the white surface.

Why didn't she just leave? Because she didn't want to. That answer came easy enough. Why didn't she just show them who she was? Because she had been dead for 5 years. She was afraid how they would react…more embarrassed really…and she couldn't' figure out why. Was it because they had already gotten on with their lives? Robin and Starfire weren't even technically part of the team anymore…Terra was back…Cyborg was now leading his own life…and Beast Boy had even given up on her.

Finally, she got to her feet, deciding she needed to move about to clear her mind. After finding the trench coat and relieving it of the beads the changeling had discarded by her grave, she left, the door hissing open as she padded down the hallway. Her feet took her past Beast Boys door, where she stood longingly for a moment, forcing herself to continue on. Her bedroom.

Opening the door carefully, she stepped in, finding comfort in her sanctuary. Still so clean. Cyborg had done a good job. Looking over at the desk, she touched her mirror, which had long been empty since her apparent 'death.' Picking it up, she slipped it carefully into her pocket. If she was going to reveal she was alive, she hardly wanted it to be by someone stupidly going into her mind.

And there, sitting so carefully and neatly at the edge of her bookshelf, was _the_ book. That damn book she had tried to open for so long. Picking it up, it seemed to almost mock her fingertips, as though laughing at all the pain she had gone through. Gritting her teeth, she flipped through the pages until she reached the spell she was working on so long ago. And then the counter spell. She wasn't about to _ever_ let this happen again.

Chalk flew to her outstretched hand, while candles lit up brilliantly in her room, forming a circle around her person. The symbol was quickly etched into the floor boards, and she held out the book in one hand, scanning the words over and over to make sure she got them right. The other hand clutched the beads, their smooth round surface digging deeply in her hands as she refused to lesson her grip. So involved in her task, she hardly noticed the sound of the door creaking open.

"Hey, miss? This room is off limits." Cyborg's voice drifted from behind her, the door closing shut. Raven felt a brief flash of anger come over her. This was _her_ room. Of course he didn't know it was her. The anger vanished into panic. Her mask. She had left it in the infirmary. He was walking towards her, about to step into the circled symbol she had created. "I have no idea what you are doing, but I'm going to have to ta—"

Raven wasn't about to let him mess up the spell. Not again.

---

Cyborg felt his systems surge with energy as they powered up. Waiting for a moment for all his systems to boot, he sat up and looked down at his scanner on his arm. 12:37 a.m. Definitely not time to wake up. Meaning their guest had left the infirmary. He had tapped himself into the Tower security, figuring she might run. After all, she didn't seem too inclined to stay.

He supposed if she really wanted to leave, he wouldn't stop her. But, letting a poor girl out into the city just wasn't his thing. At least he could talk with her first.

Walking down the hallway, he kept his eyes on his scanners, trying to locate where the girl was. She wasn't in the kitchen, or the bathroom…no one had left the building…not in Beast Boys room…a red dot appeared on his screen.

He was standing outside Raven's door.

_Why did she have to go in here?_ He moaned to himself. At least he found her and not Beast Boy. He'd have a cow---or become one.

Gingerly, he swung the door open. The girl was sitting cross-legged on the floor, a book in one hand and candles all around her. "Hey miss? This room is off limits?" He said after a moment, allowing the door to swing back shut. She jumped at his voice, but still didn't turn around. "I have no idea what you are doing, but I'm going to have to ta—"

"I don't care if you watch, but if you take another step, I will hurt you." Her voice came out very cold and deliberate.

He blinked. Did she really just say that? Didn't she realize she was in the middle of Titan headquarters with two other super heroes just down the hall? Messing with him just wasn't the smartest things. "Hold on girl—" He started to say, his voice soaked with irritation and anger.

"Trust me." Her voice was soft. And familiar. He heard it before…and who it reminded him of caused him to freeze. There was no way that he was right. It was illogical. It was outrageous. It was--

"Azarath, Metreon, Zinthos." She began to murmur. Those words. She wasn't really saying those words, was she? He didn't even hear what else she said. Those three words held him in a horrible trance. Maybe another girl from Azarath? Maybe it was a friend of hers? Because that was the only explanation. The only….

The girl stopped chanting, tossing something from her hand onto the floor. It looked to be a pile of melted wax. And then, very slowly, she stood up and turned around.

"Hello Cyborg."

---

Well, it isn't Beast Boy yet, but there is one person that knows she's alive now…I have my plans with the Beast Boy reunion mahaha lol…

And to explain her reaction a little bit, I got a tiny, condensed story for yall…I once moved away from a school for a year and then moved back…and after not seeing everyone for so long I was completely freaked out. I'd walk down the hallways with my heart in my throat, wondering if people would recognize me, or if they did, if they still wanted to be friends, even if I knew the fear was entirely pointless. So, I'm figuring Raven probably feels similar…only like a hundredfold since its been 5 years, and everyone thinks she is dead….

Alright, enough rambling.

Sorry it took longer then usual to update—schools consuming way too much of my time already…and its only the first week! Dang it!

I really appreciate everyone's support! Please do continue to review! I do update faster that way…..


	7. Complicated

Disclaimer: Well, for the past 6 chapters I haven't owned this…sooo I'm going to keep with the trend

AN: I'm horribly sorry for the long time it took to update…but here it is! Chapter Seven!

---

For a long while he just stared, his mind still trying to grasp the situation. This girl looked like Raven. A little older, but very much Raven. Very carefully he squeezed his eyes shut, deciding that he was just getting paranoid. She was in the ground at the graveyard. He saw her being put there. She was dead. This wasn't Raven.

He opened his eyes, and she was in the room, her lips turned into a frown and one hand resting on her hips. "You done?" She asked.

Moaning, he grabbed his head with his hands. "Come on--I always thought it would be Beast Boy to crack." He was just seeing things. It was the light. It had to be the freaking lights in the room. Raven's room was always dark. "Dang lights—can't see anything in here." Sure the girl before him had her eyes, had the chakra glowing red on her forehead, with the same expressions. But that didn't mean…"You are --"

"Was"

"--dead." His eyes darkening as another possibility hit him. This was probably some cruel joke being played by one of their enemies. Trying to catch them off guard by putting Raven's face on.

His sonic cannon replaced one arm and he swung it over at her. "You sick bastard." His words dripped out of his mouth, his face contorting angrily. "You won't trick us by using our friends face. I saw her die. Who sent you? Start talking or I'm very willing to shoot."

The girls eyes flashed at him, and suddenly he was encased in white light, unable to move. "Cyborg! This is hard enough without you being difficult." Despite her cold gaze, the hand dangling by her side kept moving, gripping and relaxing, gripping and relaxing, as though trying to calm herself.

He refused to let up his glare, although he did lower his arm as she released him from her magic. How could she look so much like her? "Who are you?"

"You know who I am."

"Why are you here?"

"Like I had a choice." She scowled, her arms crossing. Her movements, her words…everything was screaming Raven. His dark gaze lessoned.

"How could you possibly be alive?"

The girl before him let out a heavy sigh, and gestured to a chair, which he sat in wearily, still on guard. This had better be good. "Let's say a certain spell went horribly wrong…"

---

Raven retold what happened to her, carefully leaving everything with Beast Boy out of the story. The entire time Cyborg looked half dazed, as though he still couldn't believe this was happen. Considering she herself was feeling a little numb as the words passed through her lips, it was hard to believe what had happened herself. And she has been there. "…And now I'm back." She finished, looking at him, trying to gauge whether or not he had believed her.

For several moments, nothing happened. They simply stared at one another, both lost in their own thoughts. _What if…he doesn't trust me still? What I told him sounds crazy, even to me._ She could imagine him trying once again to shoot her. Why did returning have to be so difficult?

Very slowly, the figure in the seat stood up. Raven cursed her nerves as she unintentionally took a step back. And then, very suddenly, she was wrapped in a crushing hug. "Man, it's really you, isn't it?" He said after a moment, his voice wavering.

"Please don't cry on me." Raven's voice was muffled, but she did return the hug, feeling herself filled with a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. One of her friends…one of her friends knew she was back. Cyborg laughed and stepped back.

"You haven't changed a bit." He said with a warm chuckle. "Older, but the same you—maan wait till the other's find out! Wait till BB finds out—he's gonna flip!" Raven felt herself freeze, and tried her best not to blush as her heart did an extra beat. Her reactions did not go unnoticed to him. "Rae—if you've been here the entire time, I'm sure you figured out that Beast Boy has quite a bit of feelings for you."

"I can't help what he feels for me." She said coldly. "It doesn't mean that I feel the same." Her blushing face seemed determined to give her away.

"You're right. But it also doesn't mean that you don't…" He snickered at her.

"You just found out I'm still alive—and the first thing you want to talk to me about is my feelings for Beast Boy?" She raised one eyebrow at him, willing him to change subjects. It was so comforting to be able to still talk to him like this. It almost felt…like she had never left.

"You're right—the first thing we should do is go get everyone and tell them you're back." Cyborg nodded. Raven felt herself freeze.

"No." She was surprised how forceful the single word came out. "I wore a mask for a reason."

"Raven—"

"I'm dead to everyone." She said darkly. _Everyone's moved on…why should I come back?_

"The only problem with that excuse is that you're not dead." Cyborg crossed his arms. "Despite what you might think, everyone would love to have you back." Raven felt herself shift uneasily on her feet, once again feeling her stomach twist inside. "I can't even imagine what you went through…but trust me, we want you back."

It felt so good hearing someone say that. For five years to have no one tell her anything…to actually hear those words. She forced the tears threatening to spill to stay in her eyes. "I…I'm just not ready yet." She said after a moment, the excuse sounded phony even to herself. He seemed to accept it and just smiled.

"Alright—but you're gonna be forced to stick around. And I promise I'm going to be as annoying as Beast Boy until you crack and tell everyone." Raven simply sighed in response, placing one finger at the crown of her nose as though trying to resist an oncoming headache.

"Great."

"So, you like him, don't you?"

"I suppose so—" Raven blinked. She hadn't meant to answer that question. In fact, the question had caught her entirely off guard that she hadn't fully processed it until after those first words slipped out. Again, she formed an angry scowl on her face. "Must we talk about this?" He was just grinning at her, as though he had known this all along.

"Well it's either this or we tell everyone you're alive."

She forced herself to remain calm and shrugged. "It doesn't matter now, does it? He has Terra."

"Terra is a wonderful girl, especially now that she isn't evil or anything." He paused for a moment, just long enough for Raven to feel sick in her stomach. "But the only reason he's with her is to get over _you_. Whom until over an hour ago I thought dead."

"Well, since you are insisting on keeping up this subject—who are you talking to every day?" She couldn't help but feel smug as he did a slight double take by her sudden change of subjects. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's a girl."

"How did you—"

"Cyborg."

"Right—the entire spirit thing." He shook his head. "And maybe it is, maybe it isn't." He finished grumpily.

"So it is a girl…probably someone whom you need to keep the relationship a secret." Raven mused, glad to have found a subject as delicate to him as Beast Boy was to her.

"You know, I wonder what BB is going to say when he finds out you're alive." Cyborg said hurriedly, trying to return to the original subject. Raven wasn't going to back down.

"And considering you are the type to hardly be so shallow to keep her a secret for any reason other then she not being the nicest of girls…."

"Bet he's going to ramble on and on about his undying love for you." Cyborg said loudly, hoping to distract her. Raven felt her face glow pink, echoing a similar look in Cyborg's own face.

"There is only one girl I can think of that fits this description."

"And once he finds out you fill the same way—who knows what's going to happen." Raven fought her nervous stomach.

"Is it Jinx?"

"I don't event think I'm going to want to be in the same room as yall—being all mushy—"

Raven felt as though her heart was trying to climb up her throat, but tried to fight her urge to yell at Cyborg. She wasn't going to let him crack her. "So it is Jinx."

"And having to tell you two to go get a room."

That did it. Raven knew her face had to be several shades brighter then usual and she simply could not think of what else to say. "We will not need a room." She said, forcing her words to be calm despite embarrassment washing over her. He just laughed at her, but was similarly embarrassed from her own remarks. Apparently her guess was accurate. "I'm going to bed." She said darkly, brushing past him. He caught her by the arm.

"Look…it's really good to have you back."

"It's good to be back." It really felt like she had come home. Levitating down the hall, wrapped in her own thoughts, she didn't even notice the very faint tremor that shook the tower momentarily. She didn't notice a silhouetted figure slip down the hallway behind her. She was far too happy in having at least Cyborg back.

---

The next morning she felt as though a huge part of her burden had been lifted. She was not alone. Someone else knew what she had gone through and was now there for her. Of course, the person she wanted more then anyone else to know still didn't…but…a sickening feeling grew in her stomach at the thought of telling him. Not yet. She wasn't ready yet.

She slowly scooted off the medical bed, touching her face to ensure the mask she put back on after seeing Cyborg was still secure. Gingerly she left the room, her hands trailing down the wall of the hall. If anyone saw her, it would look like she was using it to steady herself. Inside…she was just touching her home once again.

Probably she should wait in the infirmary until someone got her---well until Cyborg got her. But, it was 7 am and she was both hungry and thirsty. And it wasn't like she didn't know where everything was in the kitchen. Sure if Terra or Beast Boy came in, she could fumble around and pretend like she didn't. But typically they weren't early risers, instead sleeping until Cyborg had to bang on their doors to get them out of bed.

The things she learned from watching them all those years. It kind of made her feel surreal, knowing these little things about them, especially now she could interact with them. Like knowing about Terra and Beast Boy…how they were now…she shook her head violently. They might be together…but that didn't mean…she didn't know what it didn't mean.

_Herbal Tea_. She hadn't had that in 5 years, and she was pretty sure she recalled one last box, pushed at the very back of one cabinet. _Does tea expire?_ She vaguely wondered, then shrugged away the thought. It didn't really matter.

Rinsing the unused tea maker free from dusk, she sighed in content as the steady hissing sound of her choice beverage began its preparation. "Don't you seem comfy?" A voice mocked her from behind. Cyborg strolled into the kitchen, stopping several feet away from Raven. "Wow…it's still hard to believe its you."

"Get use to it." Raven replied in her typical monotone voice. Cyborg suddenly pushed a very familiar circular object with a 'T' written across it.

"As of today, you are the newest member of the Titans." He grinned at her.

"And won't it seem suspicious that you instantly made me a member?" She frowned, at him.

"And won't it seem suspicious how so quickly you know your way around the Tower?"

"Good point." Raven sighed. It still didn't stop her from swinging a cabinet open and levitating a cup to her awaiting hands.

"Meh, I figure I'll skimp on some details—gonna contact Robin after I tell Terra and Beast Boy what's up."

"What's up with what about me?" A slurred voice broke the two out of their conversation. Raven froze as she saw a very sleepy green boy walk into the kitchen, yawning a bit with each step. The cup she was holding she began to clutch for dear life as she tried to will her heart beat to slow down.

_He doesn't know it's me. He doesn't know it's me._ She chanted in her head, all the while resisting the equally persisting chant of _Rip of your mask and run to him._ She wouldn't fling herself at him like some heart struck girl. Well…she was a heart struck girl. But it simply wasn't her way.

"Hey BB—is it cool if the new girl here becomes a Titan?" Cyborg seemed rather all too aware of her internal struggle, sliding her a sly grin before looking back over at Beast Boy. She wasn't that transparent…was she?

The changeling seemed to waken a little bit about this question, and for the first time noticed Raven sitting at the edge of the counter. "Eh what? Why?" Then realizing that could sound offending in nature, one hand slipped behind his head as he offered a short laugh. "I mean, no offense to you, but we have no idea who you are---I mean do we?" He looked over at Cyborg, who was smiling all the too suspiciously.

"No." Raven said, exactly at the same time Cyborg said "Yes."

"Um…" Beast Boy didn't seem too sure how to react to that.

"I talked to her last night and learned some _pretty_ interesting things about our friend here. So she's going to be a Titan."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

And that seemed to be enough to convince him. "Alright cool---nice to meetcha—I'm Beast Boy…again…or did I already introduced myself?" He thought back internally, then stuck out his hand towards Raven.

"Beast Boy." She said trying to keep her voice cold as she simply stared at his offered hand. It took her entire will power to resist returning the gesture.

"Er…right." He grinned sheepishly and took a few steps back. "So, I think I'm gonna go wake up Terr—" Before Raven could stop herself, she was suddenly out of the chair and took his hand, which had still been outstretched. _Damn it—why did I do that?_

Glad the mask was hiding the rising blush on her face, she looked up at him, suddenly realizing that during the years he had gotten taller then her. It was the oddest thing to be thinking of at the moment, considering he seemed to be very confused on what to do as she simply stood there, one hand gripping his tightly, as though her entire strength was depending on that grip. Had she just not realized it while in her spiritual form? Maybe that was it.

Realizing what she was doing, she suddenly threw down his hand. "Nice to meet you." She muttered, more then a little irritation in her voice. Cyborg, who had been watching the entire scene, looked like he was at the verge of laughing.

"Dude..um…nice to meet you too?...what's your name again?"

_Raven_

"Her name is Aurora." Cyborg interjected a rather playful look on his face. "Call her princess—she'll love that." The cup that Raven had been holding slipped out of her hand and shattered on the floor.

"P-princess?" Beast Boy clapped his hands over his mouth to stop him from snickering. "Isn't that like from some movie or something?"

"Don't you even dare." She threatened the older Titan.

"Well, there is this other name, so if you want to go by that…" He wasn't serious was he? Was he really threatening her like this, threatening to reveal her identity? Of course he was. "Or is _Princess_ alright with you?"

"Let me think…who was it again that you've been romancing with via the computer?" Raven threatened. Cyborg stiffened for a second, then laughed.

"Man, that's too easy—who was it again that you've been romancing _about_?" Partially because Beast Boy was still standing there, and partially because of her own internal emotions…she simply said nothing, grating her teeth against each other.

"Dudes…I really feel like I'm missing somethi—Terra!" The blonde haired girl walked into the room, looking oddly disheveled, despite her apparently awake appearance.

"Hey BB." She walked over to the group gathered around the kitchen, noting the glass shattered on the floor. "Did I miss the party?" Laughing, she slinked one hand possessively into Beast Boys. Raven turned away, suddenly finding the now ready tea exceptionally fascinating.

"Terra, the newbie here's gonna join up with the team—is that cool with you?" Cyborg asked behind her.

"Think it's really necessary? S'not like we really even need three people now days." It was an innocent question, but something about it made Raven turn around. The girl was staring straight at her…but it had a flicker of recognition…more then a little anger. Did she know? No. That wasn't possible.

"Well, the Princess needs a place to stay, so might as well do some good while she's at it—what do _you_ think Beast Boy?" Cyborg asked.

"The more the merrier." He shot one hand out giving a thumbs up. "Come on Terra—it'll be fun!"

"Whatever yall guys want." She shrugged her shoulders, dropping her glare from Raven and turning her full attention on Beast Boy. "Hey, hey, I got this cool place I want to show you—wanna go?"

"Want to go after breakfast?" He looked pitifully at the refrigerator. "I'm soo hungry."

"Nope—let's go now!" And she proceeded to pull him out the door. Raven simply followed them with her eyes as they left, a feeling of jealously washing over her...as well as guilt.

Terra and him were happy together. And if she revealed herself to Beast Boy…it would hurt Terra if he chose her. And if he didn't choose her….it would hurt Raven. Maybe…maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was better to become a new person, to put her old life behind her… "This is all a mistake." She muttered out loud.

"Raven?" Cyborg's metallic hand rested on one of her shoulders. She jumped a little at the sound, forgetting for a second he had been there…forgetting that if she said anything he could hear it. "You got to tell him eventually."

"Maybe."

"Want to talk to Starfire and Robin? Might cheer you up seeing them, even via screen." Cyborg offered. She looked at him. "As your new identity of course."

It actually didn't sound like half bad of an idea. Since they had left, the only contact she had with them is whenever Robin or Cyborg checked in on one another. Starfire frequented coming here for the first year or so, but that had long died, she more then a little wrapped up in Robin and her new life in Gotham. It wasn't that she had forgotten them, or that she didn't feel for them as much as before—she was simply busy.

Taking her silence as a yes, Cyborg led her to the giant computer and quickly connected over to the bat cave. For a second, all they saw was static, until a very familiar red head's face popped into the screen.

"Friends!" She shouted happily, then looked closer. "I mean one friend and one…potential friend?"

"Hey Star—been doing well?" Cyborg asked.

"Oh, most assuredly! I've been feeling the lonesomeness since Robin has left, but—"

"Robin's not there?"

"No…he went away this morning. He told me he would not be back for another week." She worried her bottom lip, her concern evident on her entire face. "He would not tell me why."

"Hmm…" Cyborg wracked his brain, apparently trying to figure out where Robin could have gone as well. "Maybe he needs something, or wants more extra training—you never know with that boy."

"Maybe…Who is that young woman besides you? She is new, yes?" Starfire asked, flying closer to the screen.

"This here's the reason I called yall—She's going to be a Titan over at our end. Her name is Princess."

"Must you call me that?" Raven muttered, loud enough for Cyborg to hear, but soft enough where the speakers failed to relay it to Starfire.

"Until you tell who you really are." He responded instantly, in the same low voice.

Meanwhile, Starfire looked practically thrilled. "How glorious! I am most thrilled to meet you, friend Princess. Next time I am there, we must do the girl chat and go to the mall and—"

"Star, mind telling Robin about her when he gets back?" Cyborg interrupted.

"I most certainly will—" The lights around Starfire began flashing, and she blinked a few times. "I'm afraid I must cut this conversation short." She said after a moment.

"We understand." The screen turned blank as Starfire went out to do the normal hero work. "You really got to tell them."

"Just give me some more time."

---

It was surprisingly easy to get back into the routine of not being dead. There had been no major crimes that week, and most she simply sat out since she was afraid the similarity in her powers and 'Raven's' powers would become more and more evident. The others didn't seem to mind. Cyborg probably figured as much, while Beast Boy and Raven probably thought she was simply inexperienced.

A few things did annoy her however…Cyborg continued to insist in calling her Princess in public, and both Terra and Beast Boy had picked it up as well. Raven was anything but a princess. She could handle other names, but.._Princess?_ Each time she heard it, it was nails on chalkboard, sending an ache rippling from her eyes all the way down to her spine.

Then there was Terra.

Terra…clung to Beast Boy, even more then usual. Maybe she was simply unsure with a new girl around. Or maybe…no, there was no way she knew.

Since that night with Cyborg, she hadn't removed her mask. And the two of them talked only when the others were gone. Each time he'd bug her, and each time she'd say she wanted more time.

She did need more time, didn't she?

The longer she putted it off, she knew the more difficult it would be to tell them. But...

"Raven, you know you're just hurting yourself by doing this?" Cyborg told her one day.

"There just hasn't been any good times to say anything." Raven scowled at him.

"And what would be a good time for you to tell everyone that you are the person they thought to be dead for five years?" He was right…an opportunity wasn't going to arise by itself. It wasn't something she could just casually slip into conversation.

_Isn't the weather nice today? I haven't' been able to appreciate it so much, since I've been dead for five years. What, you didn't know? Oh, I'm Raven, the Titan you buried._

Yes…it was going to be a difficult topic.

---

Terra and Beast Boy sat side by side, tearing each other apart on monkey racing IV. He'd only manage to beat her twice, but claimed whenever he lost that he had just 'let her win'. Which instantly turned into a playful battle and another determined cry of 'I'll get you next time!'

It had been awhile since he felt so happy. They'd been only going out for little over two weeks now, but it was so nice and comfortable. Terra and him were so much alike that it felt he could suggest anything and it would be fine. Like,_ want to go make mud pies? Sure Beast Boy, sounds fun. _

He did have to say she had been acting a little different ever since that new girl showed up. It seemed that she was…jealous of her. Which he couldn't see why. Princess…Aurora…whatever her name was hardly ever spoke, and when she did, it was normally to Cyborg and not to him. If anything was going to happen with that girl, it seemed like it would be with the metal man.

"Hey, Terra?" Cyborg's voice broke through the room. She put down her controller and looked up at him expectantly.

"What's up Cy?"

"Eh….mind if you come help me clean the T-car? My baby's all covered in dirt and I just put on a new coat of paint two days ago—don't want to scratch it. And since earth is your specialty…"

"You want me to just simply take all of it off." She grinned. "Why not?" Bending down she gave Beast Boy a quick peck on the cheek. "Be right back." Then she jumped over the couch and out the room. He simply grinned.

Looking at the paused game, he became tempted to mess with her control. Maybe set it so everything did opposite of what she wanted it to do. Change up the view a little bit…not that he had to cheat or anything to win. It was just insurance. As the thoughts crossed his mind, he was startled by someone walking into the room.

"Cyborg? You wanted me to come in here?" It was the new girl. She was still wearing the mask over her face, her long hair following in curves to her waist. She wore a dark dress with slits up the side for more maneuverability. Although he was with Terra, he couldn't help but notice how attractive this stranger was. Maybe it was the almost lavender hair? It kind of reminded him of Raven's…Sighing a little bit he stood up.

"Cy's over with Terra—they're working on the T-car, but they should be back pretty soon." The girl seemed surprised by his presence, and then clucked her tongue in annoyance.

"He did this on purpose." The words were said so quietly that if it wasn't for his sharp hearing he would have missed it entirely.

"Why would he do that?" The girl shifted uneasily on her feet. "Dude, there is seriously no reason to be shy around me." He told her, walking over closer to her. "Lets be friends."

"Friends?" The way she said the word made it sound almost like a foreign concept, like a ridiculous suggestion.

"Er…I mean if you'd like." He said hesitantly. It always felt like he was saying the wrong things around this person. Sure, he was use to saying the wrong things…but…

"You don't know who I am." Her words were surprisingly harsh.

"Well, who are you?"

"Do…do you really want to know?" Now she sounded almost timid. It was hard to judge exactly how she was going to react. And considering the mask was covering her face, he couldn't gauge it by her facial reactions either. _I wonder why she wears the mask?_ He thought vaguely.

"Sure I do! I mean we're fellow Titans and all." Poor girl—he wondered if maybe she had a rough life with her powers. Maybe she was like how Terra was at first—a little distrusting, but just wanting someone to understand her.

"Alight." For some reason…it was a big deal that she said that. In her voice, it said that something important was about to happen, and he waited expectantly. She reached for the mask, hesitating a little as she touched its rim. "I..I am…"

"So what's going on guys?" A very tight voice came through the door. Terra was staring at the two in obvious distrust. The new girl's arms dropped to her side and she levitated in the air, several feet away from Beast Boy. Terra ran over and gripped his arm, flashing a glare over at the other girl.

"We weren't doing anything." Beast Boy defended.

"Yet." Terra muttered.

"Seriously, I was just trying to make her feel more at home here." Beast Boy tried to calm his girlfriend.

"This is not her home anymore!" Terra cried. The girl at the doorway visibly winced, then vanished down the hallway.

"Dude, that was really harsh." Beast Boy frowned, about ready to say something more when the blonde haired girl suddenly cowered in his arms, her head digging into his chest. "T-Terra?" He stroked her hair. "What's wrong?"

"You…you like me, right?" She asked, and he could hear the tears on her voice.

"Of course I do—I wouldn't be going out with you if I didn't."

"I really love you, you know. I…I don't want to get hurt." She murmured.

"I wouldn't hurt you." He told her reassuringly.

"You won't leave me?"

"I won't"

"Do…do you love me?" Her voice was very tiny. He hadn't seen her like this in a long time. Terra was vibrant, full of life...

"Terra…I…I…" The words wouldn't come out. He couldn't say that he loved her…he cared for her a lot…but love. It was hard to love again. Not after Raven. And Terra knew this. She lifted her chin up, rubbing one hand across her eyes to smear the tears away. Her face was contorted a little in anger, but it didn't seem directed at him.

"I understand." And with that, she pulled him towards the couch. "Let me tear you apart on this game a few times…it'll make me feel better."

"You're on." He really didn't understand girls at all.

---

The sound of beeping drove the Titans out of the tower. Someone was stupid enough to try and be destructive at the mall. It was like they really didn't expect to be taken down.

Terra's mind was far from the fight though…it was spinning around and around the same topic that had haunted her the past week. Ever since that _girl_ showed up.

He didn't love her. He loved Raven. And Raven was back, wasn't she? That girl, that new girl. That was Raven. Terra had heard the conversation between Cyborg and her…She knew who that mysterious person was. Princess Aurora. The girl who was suppose to die by a prick in the finger, only to be instead put in a deep sleep.

Cyborg was real funny, wasn't he.

Rocks flew up from the ground, spinning towards the person causing all the destruction. He was a short man, probably only three feet tall. If he wore green, he could be mistaken as a leprechaun. Maybe that's why he was all in black. Either way, he was shooting what appeared to be fireballs at the four of them.

_I worked so hard for him…and she's going to come in and take him away from me._ Terra lifted up an entire bounder and threw it over at the attacking man, her eyes glowing yellow, her lips contorted into fury as she unleashed her anger on this man. An entire year to become his friend. An entire year to become something more. And all Raven had to do was simply come back.

Beast Boy loved Raven. Terra loved Beast Boy. And…Raven held feelings for Beast Boy as well.

She could handle it if Raven came back. Hell, the girl didn't deserve to die. But…but…why did she have to care for Beast Boy? Her Beast Boy? It wasn't fair. Life couldn't be this cruel to her.

Terra leapt from rock to rock as the man seemed to be focusing his attacks on her. Beast Boy suddenly appeared behind him, turning into a ram, head down to send the villain flying to a nearby wall.

Beast Boy…

"You all right Terra?" He called up to her. She managed a slight wave before diving out of the way as the man insisted on firing at her once again.

"Think you can get the best of meee? Think again!" The guys high pitched voice rang painfully in their ears.

"Man, you'd think we stole his lucky charms or something." Beast Boy muttered as he morphed into a rabbit.

Cyborg, meanwhile, was keeping the man highly distracted as he shot at him continuously with his sonic cannon. 'Princess' suddenly phased through the wall, lifting up strewn tiles to pelt him with.

Life really hated her, didn't it? How could Raven be alive? It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all.

Terra growled, an entire pillar of earth rising from the air, heading straight for the man.

Raven was going to tell Beast Boy, wasn't she?

The man froze as he saw the pillar head towards him, rolling quickly out of the way.

Raven was going to ruin everything, wasn't she?

Her pillar was still going forward, where the man last was, where Raven was now standing, a white shield protecting her as she concentrated on blocking the man sending balls of fire at her.

She wasn't paying attention, was she? Not to the pillar coming towards her. It would be so easy…so easy to claim that she couldn't move it in time. It could hit her. The wall on the other side was so close…Raven would easily be crushed.

Raven could die. And Beast Boy would be all hers.

Eyes widened as the thought passed her. Forcing the pillar off course, she caused it to spin around, heading back towards the man. This time he didn't see it coming. It hit him square in the chest, knocking him firmly unconscious.

"Booyah!" Cyborg shouted.

"Nice going Terra!" Beast Boy chimed in.

Right. Nice going. She was going to kill Raven. For a split second, she was willing to kill her. She would have been more then happy to.

No…Why…

She wasn't a bad person…she…Beast Boy…

_What's wrong with me?_

---

Wooo I'm so sorry again for the wait….I'm thinking Beast Boys going to find out about Raven next chapter….School really attacked me last week—I had a huge project, buut now I'm free again for awhile hehe…this is the longest chapter yet though—so hopefully that counts for something…

And if you are wondering, I have absolutely no idea how Raven eats with her mask on…I realized kinda as an afterthought that I explained the mask covered her whole face….but…how does she eat? Still, if you ever seen the episode Stranded---if Starfire can magically have a bow and arrow on a strange alien planet, and then have it vanish the next scene….Raven can eat with her mask on. Dang inconsistencies lol

Review if you like—in fact, Review if you don't like :)


	8. Unmasked

Disclaimer—I do not own Teen Titans

---

Raven sat up on the roof, her eyes glazed over in thought. She had almost told Beast Boy who she was. She had gotten so close. The mask was hooked around her fingertips---with just one pull…

And then Terra walked in. A very upset Terra to boot.

Did she know? From how she acted…Raven would guess yes. But how? When? And what was going to happen now? Having gotten so close…a part of her wanted to give up while the other felt empowered by the new development.

Maybe next time…next time she was alone with him…she could tell him.

---

"Hey Starfire? Is Robin back yet?" Cyborg looked into his arm transmitter, with a small frown as the alien girl shook her head no.

"I am most distressed—he is approximately 27 hours late now." She pouted. "What if he is harmed, or in trouble—maybe I should go look for him!"

"I'm sure he's got his reasons—give him another day." Cyborg tried to reassure her, all the while mentally yelling at his former leader. Of course Robin would go out of town when he discovered Raven was back.

Cyborg had no intention of _telling_ the boy wonder who she was. But Robin was smart and overly suspicious. If he said some stranger girl was a new addition to the Titans and gave no reason why, he'd look for one. He do some digging. He'd investigate.

And very hopefully find out the truth so Cyborg wouldn't have to break his word to Raven---something he felt more inclined on doing every day. He'd never tried the entire disappearing for 5 years and returning bit, but she couldn't stay pretending she wasn't who she was for much longer. It would be far too easy for her to run.

Sighing, he bid good luck to Starfire and rested one hand against his face. Maybe he'd try to get her and Beast Boy alone again—Terra was suspicious though. And he had an inkling she might know who their mysterious princess was. Either way, he doubted she'd fall for another 'My baby is covered in dirt!' routine.

The beeping of his arm threw him out of his thoughts. Blinking a little in surprised, he connected though. The only people that ever directly contacted him was Titans East, Starfire and Robin, or…

"They are complete morons—I've known that for years, but not even I'd think they'd stoop so low to to to---" The oh so pleasant white as ghost face appeared over the screen, currently contorted to that of sheer rage.

"Bad day?" He smirked at her. "I thought we decided no direct communications?"

"No, you decided that and I kept it going as long as it was convenient." Jinx crossed her arms, her first wave of anger dissipating. "Although my reputation will go down the drain for being associated with a do gooder."

"Touchy touchy." He laughed. "So what happened?" Instantly he regretted the question, since he was once again bombarded wit furious words.

"My _former_ teammates thought it would be great to bring in civilians into our little showdown today—can you believe it? I am much too above to threaten mere bystanders. And yet there they were threatening to kill them! Its like they have no class, it's like they—"

"Are criminals?"

"Don't start with me." She tapped one finger on the screen, although her own face was turning into a coy smile.

"Well, if you are so against hurting civilians…wouldn't it be nice to start saving them instead?" Maybe after so many years he was beginning to rub off on her. You never know—she finally ditched her team mates. The next step could be becoming a hero.

"And the fun in that would be?"

That step would take some time though.

Suddenly there was another beeping sound coming up from the screen behind him. Jynx simply rolled her eyes and ended the transmition before he could even say a word. Cyborg groaned a little. This was the first time he'd talked to her directly in who knows how long, and apparently she chose the same day everyone else in the world wanted to talk to him as well.

"What?" He said, slightly bitterly as he opened the transmition.

"Er…Cyborg?" Robin's—Nightwing's—whoever the boy was, voice echoed through the transmition. "Bad time?" He looked up, seeing the boy wonder sitting inside what appeared to be a small space shuttle.

"Hey man—where have you been?"

"Oh…around." His vague answered increased Cyborg's suspicions. "I..uh…need your help." His former leader seemed almost embarrassed as the words left his mouth, one finger hooking around the collar of his shirt nervously. Considering Robin wasn't the kind for outward shows of emotions, Cyborg was becoming positively intrigued.

"Sure—what do you need help with?" Inspecting the screen closer, he noticed that behind Robin, the entire space of the ship seemed to be covered in…flowers? "Um…what's with the—"

"Meet me at Joan's Jewelers tomorrow at 2." The other said quickly, his face turning an unusual shade of red. With that, the transmition ended.

"Alright, every single one of the Titans have cracked." Cyborg muttered, shaking his head.

And very suddenly, he knew exactly why Robin was so nervous. A small smile spread all the way across his face. _It's about damn time._

---

Terra managed to both cling to Beast Boy as well as to be completely distant with him, more like a shadow at his side then an actual person. She was afraid what would happen if she left him alone. And her own mind was plagued with what she actually thought of doing. _Kill Raven…_

She wouldn't do that. She couldn't.

_She's in your way._

A rival for Beast Boys affections, but a good person. She couldn't…she couldn't…

_They'd never know._

Why did it have to be so complicated? She had Beast Boy right now. Raven didn't. But the moment Raven said anything, the situation would flip flop. What should she do? What should she…

"Er Terra? You're being awfully quiet."

"Not like you're talking much either." She snapped, then widened her eyes a little when she remembered who it was that was sitting beside her. "Oh…sorry. I have a lot on my mind." His green eyes were staring down at her, looking both irritated and concerned. She had been doing this to him all day—if she wasn't careful, Raven wouldn't even need to do anything for him to break up with her. She laughed bitterly. _I bet she'd love that._

"So…" Beast Boy scrutinized her for a moment. "Um…you want to talk about anything?"

"N-no, there's nothing wrong." Her words came out a little too quickly. "I—I just need to get some air. Why don't you hang out with Cy for awhile?"

"Terra? Hello? Cyborg left early this afternoon on business." He did? She must have zoned that part of the day out. "I can go watch some TV—you..uh…breathe."

_If only she never came back. She could never care about him as much as I do._

She left the room slowly, a little worried about leaving Beast Boy by himself. But her thoughts weren't leaving her alone—she had to think. She had to…

Walking up the tower's stairs, she reached the door to the roof. Maybe she just needed to breathe a little, to just sort out her thoughts more. Maybe she could figure out a way to have Beast Boy…and for Raven to just go away. The door creaked a little as it swung open and she found herself face to face with another girl, whose hand was poised to open the door herself.

Raven.

Her face contorted in anger. No matter where she went, no matter what she tried to do, this girl was always there. She was going to take away the one thing that made her life worth anything.

"Terra, I think we need to talk." Ravens words were so calm, so cold…just like she remembered. There was no way she _deserved_ Beast Boy.

"Yes, I think we do."

---

She wasn't sure why she told Terra they needed to talk. The blonde headed Titan might not even know who she really was….no…there was no way she didn't know who she was. Everything that had happened only pointed to that one singular conclusion. But what was she planning on saying? I'm sorry that I love your boyfriend and he loves me back? I'm sorry that I have returned from the dead? Won't you forgive me?

_Maybe I should just leave…_

Taking several steps backwards, she and Terra stood in the middle of the roof's surface, staring back at one another in equal determination. "You know who I am…don't you?" Raven asked softly.

"Yes, _Raven_." Her name was spat off her lips like a vile substance. "So when are you going to do it? When are you planning on making my life a living hell again?"

"That's not what I intend to do—"

"Then just leave."

"I can't." Raven was a little surprised by those words…she couldn't leave. She wouldn't leave. This was the only place she could call her home.

"You just won't!" Terra's eyes glowed yellow and she raised her arms over her head, stones rising up from the ground far below to hover above them. Raven reacted instantly, wrapping the boulders in a white glow, willing them to stay still.

"I don't want to fight you." She said, trying to stay calm.

"But I want to fight you! How could you do that to him—to us! Die, then come back—you think that's not going to cause any trouble!" Raven felt her power over the boulders weaken slightly, the stones falling several feet closer to her own body.

"No! I didn't mean for any of this to happen—I didn't mean—" Why was she defending herself? It wasn't like she asked to die, to have no one see her for five years…_But was it right to just come back?_

"Oh, I didn't mean for it to happen." Terra mocked her words, her face turning into a demented smile. "Raven—Beast Boy's _happy_ now. We are all _happy_ without you!" The rock suddenly was flung away from the building as Terra ran straight at her, tackling Raven to the ground. Her fingertips dug into her shoulders, her eyes glaring down into her own. Eyes filled with anger, with despair, with everything in the world pointed against her. Raven just laid there, Terra's words soaking up into her. _They were all happy._

"Fight me!" Terra shook her back and forth, Ravens head hitting the concrete roof with a solid thwack.

"I don't want to…" Raven watched as Terra raised back one arm, her hands forming a closed fist.

"You think you are better then me, don't you?" She hissed out, her arm coming down. Raven squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the pain…that never came. Opening them tentatively, she realized the girl's fist had hit the concrete inches beside her face. Her white knuckles were now laced with shallow blood from the impact, her expression filled with complete frustration. "You are a coward." She said softly.

_I am a coward._

"You don't deserve him."

_I don't deserve him. _Tears came unwillingly to her eyes. It was everything she knew. She was just running away. She wasn't worthy of him…she…

"You could never love him as much as I do…In fact, I bet you don't even love him at all."

_No._

"You just play with him—toy with him even when you were dead."

_No. She's wrong._

"I _need _him."

_So do I._ Raven placed one hand on Terra's shoulder, the movement quickly quieting the other girl.

"I was alone for five years." Raven's voice was even quieter then Terra's. Her grip on the other's shoulder tightened. "…and…" White magic flew around the two, lifting them off the ground and turning them back horizontal. She slammed Terra into the side wall. "…don't' you ever dare tell me that I don't love him." Something seemed to flicker in those blue eyes…was it understanding? Was it belief? "…he's the only thing that has kept me going. The only…the only—" Suddenly, the image of the blonde girl was swung out of her view as a sharp burning pain erupted from her side. It felt as though she was flying in the air…instinctively she wrapped herself in white magic and turned herself around.

Terra was looking over at Raven with a dumbstruck look on her face, as though she was uncertain what to be thinking. And there was Beast Boy, with one arm around Terra and an angered…confused…expression directed towards…her.

Misunderstandings…yet it hurt. It hurt so much to have him look at her with _those _eyes. The ground turned white around her and she phased down into the room below.

Everything was so complicated.

---

"Are you okay?" Beast Boy knelt down beside Terra, who was still staring at where the Princess girl had just vanished. "I thought I'd check on you, and I saw her throw you against the wall, so…"

Terra suddenly stood straight up, Beast Boy fumbling to his own feet to follow suit. She looked at him for a long time, as though searching for something. Apparently she didn't find whatever it was that she was looking for since she brought back one of her hands and sent it slamming straight into his cheek. "You are such an idiot!" She screamed, and stomped down the stairs.

"Hey! I'm the one who saved you!...Didn't I?" He nursed his cheek with one hand. That girl had completely lost her mind. It was the only explanation.

---

"Yes, that one's good. She'll really like it."

"You sure?"

"For the fifteenth time, yes, I am really sure." Cyborg let out a deep sigh and fidgeted on the balls of his feet. Everything in this store was so shiny, so…breakable looking. This was definitely not his element. If he just breathed wrong, he felt like everything would just shatter…

Robin paced back to the other end of the counter, where the lady helping them followed quickly behind. "I kind of like the second one we looked at too…"

"Robin, get this one. You've gone back to it ten times now."

"Yes…but…"

"There is always the white gold with jade along the band and deep diam…." The girl was quieted by the withering glance he gave her. Like Robin needed yet _another_ option.

"You fight bad guys every day—make split second decisions that could mean life or death to everyone around you…and you can't decide which ring to get Starfire?" He shook his head at the boy.

"This isn't as easy as that." Robin said seriously. "I'm…I'm…asking her to…" He stopped. Cyborg knew exactly what he was going to ask the girl, yet during the entire two hours at this store he had not been able to actually _say_ the words.

"Trust me—I think she'd say yes even if your ring was made out of duck tape and yarn. In fact—she might just prefer it, knowing her." Robin suddenly froze, as though this thought had just entered his mind.

"Really?"

"Joke, man. Just a joke. She'd like these rings too."

After another thirty minutes of convincing him he was making the right choice, Cyborg headed back to the tower. Seeing Robin so completely unhinged was amusing to a point, but after a few hours of it, he was about ready to slap him across the face. Also, with him like this, mentioning the new Titan was out of the question. He had enough on his mind already.

Walking through the door, he noted that Beast Boy was sitting slumped on the couch, a dour expression on his face as he stared at the television screen. While BB and the television certainly did go hand in hand…the fact that the screen was turned off didn't. Considering Terra had been acting a little oddly the past few days, he was pretty sure it had something to do about that…but did he really want to talk to Beast Boy about Terra? With Raven back, he didn't really want to encourage that relationship anymore…but that was hardly fair to the other girl either.

"She slapped me!" Beast Boy apparently noticed his scrutinizing stare.

"Eh, what?"

"Terra slapped me!" He seemed completely confused. Sighing, Cyborg sat down on the couch beside him.

"Did you show her your Tofu collection again? Man, I'd slap you myself for it." He teased, trying to loosen up his poor friend.

"Hey—plastic tofu blocks are totally in now." He defended.

"Tofu is plastic."

"Is not! But, that doesn't matter right now—I protected her and got slapped for it!" The changeling threw his hands up in his air, emphasizing his point. Now he was curious. Terra wasn't the kind of girl to need that much protecting—well any girl who had complete control of the earth really didn't need much protection.

"What happened?"

The boy slumped against the couch. "I went up on the roof to check on her, and apparently she and that new girl got in a fight." _Uh oh._ "I saw Princess pin her against the wall, so I pushed her off….and then I got slapped!"

Silence spread through out the room at the end of his proclamation. His green friend seemed to be waiting for him to tell him he did what was right, that Terra was just acting strangely…anything. But…

"You are an idiot." Cyborg nudged him gently on the shoulder. "Tell me that story again later, and then I'll give you my honest answer." Standing up, he left a very bewildered boy in the living room.

---

Terra sat in the corner of her room, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her hand still stung from earlier…She hated what she had done. She hated trying to fight with Raven. She hated what she saw in _her_ eyes.

Yet…she couldn't hate Raven anymore. She wanted to. Oh she wanted to so badly. This girl was going to take the one person that really mattered to her away…but…what she saw in her eyes before Beast Boy came…she'd only seen it once before.

It was the same look Beast Boy had whenever he talked about Raven.

---

Pacing around her room…her old room…she gripped the mirror that lead into her mind, trying to get control of all her feelings. Yelling at Terra…telling her she loved Beast Boy felt like she had removed a huge burden off of her chest. But, all that was countered by the expression on Beast Boy's face as he stared down at her.

A beeping sound echoed in her room. She didn't want to have to leave, to face him. Not right now. Shaking her head, she felt herself stiffen. Raven was a titan, and stronger then this. Fighting is the one thing she could still do with him.

Slowly she opened the door, leaving her room behind her. And, as her luck would have it…there he was, passing her room as he hurried down the hall to the main computer to see what the trouble was. They both froze, she mentally cursing herself for not thinking before she left that room. That was _Raven's_ room.

"What…" He started to say, but she simply brushed beside him, refusing to look him in the eye. "What were you doing in that room?" Why was it so easy to ignore…to be so cold to someone she cared so much about? "Hey—"

"Leave her alone." Cyborg was suddenly beside her. She looked up, glad the mask could hide the relief on her face.

"B-but—"

"There's been a bank robbery downtown. Lets go." Terra peered down the hall, looking directly at Beast Boy.

"Princess—lets take the T-car." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Call me Princess again, and I will kill you." She muttered, but allowed herself to be lead away to the car. Everything was feeling surreal right now. It was happening so fast…she was barely able to hold on.

"BB, I'll give you a lift on one of the rocks." Terra said, her voice just as quiet as Cyborg's.

"Why were you in that room?" He repeated again, ignoring Terra, his eyes burning into the back of her head. She slowly turned and looked at him.

"It's just a room." And she disappeared down the hallway.

---

"I don't need a ride on the rock—I can fly myself" Beast Boy spat, his anger evident. If it was an accident, she should have just said so. Any excuse would do. That she was curious as to whose room it was. That she got lost. But she said nothing, and that angered him more then anything. That was _Raven's_ room. That girl had no right being there without an explanation.

First she attacked Terra, and now she was hanging out in Raven's room…his liking for this stranger was dropping.

"She just went into a room."

"She went into Raven's room—she had no business in there!"

Terra gripped the rock, increasing its speed. "I hate it when you bring her up."

"Terra…?"

"One day you're going to forget me. You won't ever forget her though…will you?"

"I'd never forget you." He tried to reassure her, ignoring the second part of her sentence. Terra looked at him for a while, then shook her head.

"Just don't be mad at the new girl."

"I thought you hated her?"

"She's a cold coward whose hiding behind a mask." The words were bitter. Both were silent after that, Beast Boy's arm around her waist as she took them to the crime scene. There was a man on top the roof, who appeared to be _dangling_ two policemen off the side.

"Here's where you get off." Terra grinned at him, although her smile looked a little forced.

"Yup…here it is."

---

Raven tired to focus only on the fight at hand. Her heart was spinning in all directions…it seemed like Beast Boy was so far away from her now. The looks he gave her were not even of the I-want-to-be-your-friend he held before…they were of mistrust.

She created a white field around her as the man shot lightening bolt electricity through his fingertips. He was strong—her shields could hardly repel the attack. Terra was trying to keep his attention on her, sending rock after rock at him while Cyborg positioned himself for attack. Beast Boy had only narrowly caught the two men he had thrown off the side of the building and was in the process of moving the rest of the civilians out of the way before he could help.

"I'm gonna take you guys down!" The man bellowed at all of them, little flickers of electricity running through his body.

"We haven't heard that before." Raven muttered, rolling out of the way as the ground beside her exploded into a spray of concrete. She coughed a little and flew into the air, away from the dust.

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy came running up to him, turning into a small turtle as he flew into the metal man's awaiting grasp. Cyborg tossed him like a Frisbee over at the man, at the last minute turning Rhyno to hit him solidly on the back. An electric shield sprung up around the man, sending him bouncing backwards. "Duude, that's so not fair!"

The guy simply smirked at the changeling, shooting him with his electric bolts.

"Hey hey—don't forget about me!" A pillar of earth came crashing down where the man was, sending a rain of rocks and debris as it hit his shield. For several seconds, the entire area was so thick with dust and no one could see—or breathe. Raven spotted a figure below. It was Beast Boy…and behind him…it was the man.

"Beast Boy!" She cried out, but the changeling didn't seem to notice the man behind him. Without thinking she plummeted toward the ground, right as the guy shot his lightening bolts towards the unsuspecting boy. For a spilt second, she stood there, her arms outstretched between the two, a white shield forming around them that was easily crushed by the coming bolt. White light blinded her and she felt a sharp pain tore through her body as she was flung backwards, sliding along the ground until she hit the small guard rail on the other side. Her side burned. Her chest burned. But most of all…her face felt like it was on fire.

Getting to her knees, she stared down at the ground, the mask falling off in little clumps, each one shattering as they touched the surface. Blood trickled off her chin from a cut on her cheek…a gash on her forehead…but most importantly she kept looking at the mask on the ground. Never had she felt so exposed…

She heard a low shriek from the man who had sent her flying. Had they won? She wanted to look up, but if she did, she'd be seen. They would see her. He would see her. No no no. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She had to run. She had to.

Without thinking, she suddenly launched herself in the air, flying away from everything, away from it all. Why was she so scared? She didn't know…she just had to get away.

---

Cyborg stood beside Beast Boy, his canon smoking as he managed to land a solid shot right at the man's chest. Caught off guard by the girl jumping to save the changeling, it had been a clear shot and knocked the guy clean out. Beast Boy turned and looked over at the girl, who was staring down at her knees. The mask apparently had broken from the impact and she didn't seem to know what to do.

She had saved his life…

All of a sudden she launched herself in the air and vanished out of view, her entire body rigid. "Hey!" He called after her. He needed to thank her…and to apologize from before. Turning around, he found himself face to face with both Terra and Cyborg. Terra looked close to tears, her expression twisted in both anger and frustration.

"Are you o---"

What the hell are you doing?" She said quietly. "She's getting away."

"Huh?"

"Go after her, you idiot!" Falling to her knees she pounded her fist on the ground. "Please, just go after her before I change my mind!"

"Go." Cyborg stared at him, his expression not allowing any room for argument.

"Um…okay." Beast Boy was confused. Maybe the girl was more hurt then it seemed…maybe they didn't want her to be alone. But why didn't they go after her then? Maybe they knew he needed to apologize. That was probably it.

---

Beast Boy flew off, leaving just the two of them on the roof. Cyborg looked down at the girl, who was still trembling on the roof top. "Are you sure about this?"

"No. I hate it. I hate hate it." She said, her hands gripping at the left over debris on the roof. "And I hope he doesn't find her."

"You're a good girl, you know it?"

"Shut up."

---

Raven flew down into an abandoned alley way. The sun was low in the sky, casting the entire portion of the street into shadows. This place felt safe to her. The dark. The feeling of being alone. Now that she was away, she felt she finally could breathe. Her healing powers were already taking affect—she could feel the cuts on her face fading…the pain in her side diminishing…yet the pain in her chest remained.

She loved him so much, yet all she found herself doing was running from him. Every time. She really was the coward, even after all that had happened.

Leaning against the brick wall, she let the cold surface cool her forehead. She could just turn around…like this. Let him see her. Finally stop the pain of him not knowing who she was. Open a door that he thought closed for him five years ago…that she thought closed for her five years ago…

"There you are." She didn't move, although the voice behind her sent her heart thudding loudly in her chest. _Him._ "I came to see if you are alright." He seemed a little nervous…she had a feeling it wasn't his idea to come after her.

"You can just leave." She said after a moment, her words coming out harsher then she had intended them.

"Nah…I needed to thank you for saving me back there…and sorry for jumping to conclusions earlier. I'm guessing you and Terra were working things out—right? And…you probably just don't know about that room."

"Hmm." She didn't really know how to respond to that.

"Anyway, lets head back. Everyone's probably worried." He started to step forward.

"_Don't come near me._" Again…her words sounded so harsh, although she knew her face was blushing horribly.

"Hey...I know your mask got broken, but it's alright. I'm sure you look fine." He said cautiously, trying to figure out why she was being like this. It was true though. It was her appearance that she knew would shock him. "Come on—I'm green, Cy's half machine—and Terra…um…Terra…" He screwed his head up, trying to think of some flaw. "Well, you know what I mean."

There was no one to stop her this time. She could just walk slowly toward him. But how? Should she just tell him who she was? Break it to him gently? Or just dive right in? Her chest felt like it was going to run away with her…being so close…he about to know…she could do this. She really could do this. She told Terra she was in love with him…maybe it was time that she proved it.

"You really are an idiot." After a moment of thinking what she should say, those were the first words to leave her mouth.

"I've been told that waaay to many times today." He groaned. "What is it this time? Did I say something wrong again?"

"No…out of everything you said, that probably was the most correct." Just speak to him like…she was Raven. She was herself. Gently, she pushed herself away from the wall, although she still refused to face him.

"Umm…"

"I hated it…when you gave up." She said after a moment, her words quiet. "I almost gave up too you know…then this had to happen."

"When you saved me?" She shook her head. "Dude, you are really confusing me."

"Its weird now…I've thought of so many things to say to you…but all I can think is that you were an idiot. Why did you hang on for so long?" Another step away from the wall. He seemed about to answer, but she shook her head at him. "I've relied on you too much. And now I don't know what to do anymore."

"P..Princess?"

"If you call me that again, I will hurt you. I don't care who you are." She ran one hand through her hair.

"…who are you?" His voice was strangely small now. He didn't seem to know how he was suppose to reacting. Maybe he thought she was crazy.

"It hasn't been that long, has it?" Taking a deep breathe, she turned around, forcing her hands to stay by her sides. They wanted to clutch around her, to protect her from whatever it was she was hiding from. This was easy…just step forward. "A little over…five years?" She was terrifying him. She could see himself shrink with uncertainty, as one idea hit him. The idea that he knew was ludicrous, one that he couldn't dare hope. It felt like she was torturing him, dangling this notion in front of him, he being scared it was going to be thrown aside.

"Who are you?" He repeated again, his eyes wide as he struggled to make out her form.

Carefully, she walked out of the shadows of the alleyway, allowing the dying sun to spray against her face, her chakra glowing in the light…everything was there to tell him who she was.

Yet he didn't stay a word. They just stared at each other, his green eyes merging into her own violet ones.

---

….Sorry about the horribly long delay for updating xD…I haven't died, I've just been extremely busy. School apparently wishes to kill me—buut in like two-three weeks I'll be on Christmas Break! And I'm determined to finish this story over the Holidays! I don't have too much more left—we finnnaalllyyy have Beast Boy clued in. Took the two long enough pfft.


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